Konoha's Troubles: A Week in the Life of Ami
by Scarlet has Fantasy Issues
Summary: A series of pranks are pulled driving the Leaf Villagers insane. Like when Sasuke & Neji think they're girls, Sasuke becomes wolfish & more! Chapter 2 and on are funnier than Chapter 1 Please read and review!
1. Sunday

_A/N: This is a completely random story that I created with one of my O/C, so don't hate me for the randomness. It will be strange and that's all I can say about it…Other than that, enjoy._

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**Sunday: Mission Sugar High!**

Kurayami downed another Monster energy drink and threw the can at Sasuke's head before quickly moving to another spot so he wouldn't see who threw the can at him. She'd been doing this for an hour now and he hadn't been growing any wiser. Actually, she had begun with empty boxes of pocky and steadily progressed to the cans, but that didn't seem to matter to the always grumpy Sasuke.

"All right!" he shouted, staring at a bush a few feet away from the spot the brunette was actually hiding. "Whoever is throwing junk at me, knock it off! Or I will destroy you!"

_As much fun as ever_, Kurayami thought, sipping another Monster quietly as she watched him shake with suppressed rage. _Evil Emo Boy…_

She crushed the can and threw it at his back as she darted from her hiding spot. Her cats-eye green eyes widened when he caught the can before it connected with his head and he whipped around with a couple of kunai in hand.

_Dammit! Stupid Sasuke!_

"You!" Sasuke hissed, throwing the can aside.

"Me." Kurayami agreed, standing a few feet away from him, eyeing the kunai cautiously. "Now that we know who I am and since I know that you're an annoying Emo kid, can I go now? You see, I, unlike you, have a life."

A nerve in Sasuke's forehead throbbed. "You are on something again, aren't you?"

"Depends on whose asking," Kurayami replied, glancing around suspiciously. "If it's Tsunade and Kakashi, I'm not. If it's you or any other nobody…maybe I am…"

Sasuke smirked. "So you are on something."

"If I am, don't get any ideas. You aren't looking any hotter in these eyes Sasuke, I'm sorry."

Kurayami glanced over her shoulder when the bushes moved. A girl with orange hair burst from the bushes with a worried expression on her face just as Sasuke moved towards Kurayami.

"Sasuke, don't kill her!" she ordered. "She's under the influence of sugar!" She skid to a halt and cocked an eyebrow. "Um…Sasuke?"

Kurayami was sitting on Sasuke, holding the kunai knives on her fingers, smiling evilly. "Hi Neko!" she sang.

"Get off of me, you loser!" Sasuke shouted from underneath her.

"Um…Not until Neko and I discuss today's mission," Kurayami said, smacking him upside the head before looking back at Neko, who was sipping a Red Bull. "So, pipe down and close your ears Emo!"

Sasuke growled and struggled to get out from underneath her. Kurayami sighed and made three clones appear on top of him so that he would sit still.

"Now that that's taken care of…Neko, today's mission is to go to Lord Orochimaru's castle and turn it into Jell-O!" Kurayami declared.

"Jell-O?" Neko repeated around her Red Bull.

"Yep. Jell-O. And we can turn Kabuto's glasses into candy canes and all kinds of things if we have time," Kurayami continued, popping open another Monster.

"Of course, we'll need to get the Jell-O from Kakashi because he has it," one of her clones said while the real one downed the Monster. "He shouldn't be too worried about what we're going to do with it when we tell him why we need it."

"Of course not." Neko agreed.

"You two are a couple of morons," Sasuke commented in a muffled voice. "You won't be able to turn a castle into Jell-O, especially a Sanin's castle. Thinking you can is completely stupid."

Kurayami glared at him. "Are you implying that this mission will fail Sasuke Uchiha?"

"That's exactly what I'm implying and I refuse to allow my sister to go," Sasuke said. "Doing so would bring shame to the Uchiha family."

Neko smiled. "Aw…you care…"

Kurayami's clones gagged.

"Not that it's not cool that you're all family closeness now Sasuke, but you're a drag," Kurayami complained. "Neko is my partner in crime and you're trying to take that away from me."

"Yeah. And you can't stop me from going," Neko added. "Red Bull gives me wings, so I'll just fly after her when you're not looking." She stuck her tongue out at him before downing the rest of her Red Bull.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll just go straight to the person who can ruin your entire plan."

Kurayami's clones ended up on the ground as he vanished in a puff of smoke. Kurayami snapped and jumped to her feet.

"Darn it!" she cursed, stomping her foot. "He's going to tattle on us!"

"He always was a big tattle tale," Neko commented with a frown. "It was very annoying when we were younger." She thought about it for a moment. "Still is."

They both looked at each other.

"Kakashi!"

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Kurayami tiptoed into Kakashi's apartment which she shared, trying very hard to contain all of the energy that was building up inside of her. Kakashi was busy reading his Icha Paradise book at the kitchen table and Kurayami crept slowly over to him.

"What did you do now?" he asked, causing her to freeze.

"What – what do you mean?" Kurayami demanded her eyes wide. "I didn't do anything yet!"

"Fine. Let me rephrase it." Kakashi said. "What are you planning on doing?"

"Well, can I have the Jell-O mix first?" Kurayami asked, walking over to stand in front of him.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

Kurayami pouted and performed the Sexy Jutsu (with variation). "Please Kakashi-sensei?"

No reaction. "No."

Kurayami found the problem. He was reading that damn book and not looking at her. She reached across the table and plucked the book out of his hands.

It took a moment for the silver haired ninja to realize that the book was missing before he looked up. When he looked up to demand that Kurayami give the book back, he saw her using the Sexy Jutsu and got a major nosebleed.

"Now, can I please have the Jell-O?" Kurayami asked, setting the book aside.

Kakashi pinched his nose and shook his head furiously. A nerve throbbed in Kurayami's forehead as her body shook.

"Why not?" Her eyes narrowed. "Did you talk to Evil Emo Kid?"

Neko came bursting into the apartment as Kakashi shook his head again. She sweat dropped at the sight of Kurayami and quickly looked away.

"Um…Sasuke didn't come here," she announced. "He was heading to Tsunade's place, but…I took care of him with pink spray paint."

Kurayami sighed and looked back at Kakashi. "Well? Why can't I have the Jell-O?"

"Because I've heard from several villagers that you have already gorged yourself on sugar," Kakashi commented. "Apparently, you were hurting people."

"Only Sasuke."

"That's someone."

Kurayami rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, making his nose bleed afresh. "Neko, get the Jell-O!"

Neko saluted her and opened the cabinets, looking for the said Jell-O. She scooped all of the boxes she could find into a brown sack.

"Why do you need Jell-O mix?" Kakashi questioned.

Kurayami smiled as she released him when Neko was done collecting the Jell-O. "Because we're going to turn Lord Orochimaru's castle into Jell-O and turn other objects into different kinds of candy there!" she declared.

"What?!?" Kakashi bellowed.

"Toodles!" Kurayami exclaimed, hooking arms with Neko and running out of the apartment.

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"Lord Orochimaru! Lord Orochimaru!" Kabuto shouted, running into Orochimaru's lair. "We've got trouble!"

"Really?" Orochimaru asked, keeping his back to the medic ninja. "What is it?"

"That annoying Kurayami Houka is here with that Neko Uchiha," Kabuto announced.

"What?" Orochimaru spun around and fixed his cold gold stare on Kabuto. "What are they doing here?"

Kabuto smirked. "They're actually trying to coat your entire castle with Jell-O."

Orochimaru cocked an eyebrow and moved over to the window. Kurayami and Neko could be seen applying globs of Jell-O to the sides of the castle while clones chased Sound nin around with giant candy canes. For some reason, the Uchiha kept stopping her work and instead tried to jump away from the castle walls. She would instantly fall and have to catch herself and climb back up.

"No fair!" she screamed. "Red Bull lied! I did not get wings and I drank like twenty of them!"

"Maybe you were supposed to drink twenty-one," Kurayami suggested from below. "You know, twenty-one is a lucky number."

"Right."

Orochimaru shook his head and pushed open the window, causing both kunoichi to look up.

"Kurayami Houka, what do you think you're doing here?" Orochimaru demanded.

"Well, your castle is just so hideous on its own Orochimaru," Kurayami explained, applying another glob of Jell-O to the wall. "So, I decided that maybe I should do something to make it look more appealing to everyone else and what's more appealing that Jell-O?"

Kabuto shot poison needles down at her and Neko, which of course they dodged and they continued to apply more Jell-O to the wall of the castle.

"Kurayami, you and your plans are normally strange, but this takes this cake," Orochimaru commented, stepping out of the window and onto the wall.

"Oh, do you want some cake?" Kurayami asked, looking up at him. "Neko, help him out."

Neko reached behind her and pulled out a chocolate cake. She threw it up at him. "Chocolate to make you happy!" she declared.

Orochimaru dodged the cake while Kabuto got hit by it in the face. Kurayami ran up to him and took his glasses off his face.

"Here, let me clean these for you," she offered politely before switching the glasses for a pair made of candy canes and thin clear candy. "There you go."

While she was busy pulling the switch, Orochimaru noticed the trembling of her body and smirked.

"I see," he said. "You're experiencing one of your famous sugar highs."

Kurayami froze and stared at him. "No, I'm not."

"We shall see about that."

Kurayami jumped back as Orochimaru leapt at her, a sword coming out of his mouth, his arms still useless. She hissed and threw a bunch of peppermints at him before slipping a rod out of her sleeve.

The sword went back in Orochimaru's mouth when she caught him by the throat and she poured the contents of the rod in his mouth.

"Enjoy the extremely sour taste of about two hundred thirty-six extremely sour lemon Warheads!" Kurayami declared, patting him on the head almost lovingly before tripping Kabuto as he wandered past. "Neko let's go!"

Neko lowered her camera as Orochimaru gagged on the Warheads. "Why? We're having so much fun!"

"Too much trouble!" Kurayami corrected, grabbing her friend by the arm while simultaneously performing the Sexy Jutsu (with variation) as she ran down the side of the castle. "We have to get out of here before Orochimaru realizes he can spit out every single one of those Warheads and Kabuto realizes that I have his real glasses…Oops…I said that a bit loud, didn't I?"

Neko nodded and glanced behind them as Kurayami was instantly surrounded by smoke. Orochimaru and Kabuto were starting to advance on them from behind as were Sound nin from the front.

"Oh no!" Neko screamed, holding her face. "I'm too young to die! Damn Red Bull! Why couldn't you have done what you promised and given me wings! I don't want to have to wait until I die to get them! I need them now! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!"

"Cool it girl," Kurayami whispered. "I've got this covered."

"What?" Neko demanded, looking at her and then wishing that she didn't.

A bunch of Kurayami clones stood there surrounded by smoke. Some were posing; others were simply blowing kisses at people (minus Neko and Kabuto).

"Okie dokie!" Kurayami exclaimed, sounding all happy. "We're all friends here and if you let us go home without a fuss, I'll give every single one of you a huge hug. Well, except for Kabuto because I don't like you. And Orochimaru might get a kiss on the cheek because he's your big boss and all that…So…What do you say? Are we friends?"

Kabuto pointed at her and Neko. "Kill them!"

"Wait!" Neko exclaimed. "I'll give you a hug in her place Kabuto!"

"Fine. Don't kill her. Kill Ami."

All of the clones of Kurayami looked confused. "What?" They glared at him. "How dare you tell them what to do when they're your boss' minions? You should be ashamed of yourself. Go to time out!"

Kabuto crossed his arms and looked away. Orochimaru smirked.

"Kurayami Houka, come here."

Kurayami instantly froze. _Holy crap! I didn't expect him to go for it! He likes Ai, not me! It's because I'm naked, isn't it? Pervert!_

"On second thought," Kurayami said, grabbing Neko by the hand. "I think we're just going to go without giving away any hugs."

Her clones exploded giving her time to run between the Sound nin, dragging Neko behind her. All the while she was thinking about how using the Sexy Jutsu had been a very bad idea and how she would never again use it in Sound Village.

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Sasuke was trying very hard not to kill his sister while she continued to throw Red Bull cans at the back of his head while they walked around Konoha in search of Kurayami, who had disappeared the instant they had made it back to Konoha alive. The poor, evil Emo kid was covered in pink dye except for his hair and for that he was slightly glad, but he felt that his sister was pushing it each time she threw a damn can at the back of his head and declared that she had earned two more points.

"Will you knock it off?" he demanded, spinning around and getting hit in between the eyes by a can, earning fifty points by Neko's declaration.

"Not until Red Bull gives me wings like it promises!" Neko declared, shaking another can and opening in front him, getting his shorts wet. "Oh! Sasuke! I thought we'd solved that nasty problem of yours when you were six? Do we need to go home and have you put on clean underwear?"

A nerve throbbed in Sasuke's forehead. _She's my sister…she's my sister…I can't kill her…she's my sister…Dammit!_

Neko smiled sweetly and downed what was left in that can and threw the can at a very uncomfortable place on Sasuke that earned her 100 more points while Sasuke fell to the ground in pain.

"Where's Ami?" Neko asked.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Sasuke demanded from his spot on the ground at her feet.

"Watch your mouth," Neko ordered, stomping on his head. "I know how to find her." She took a deep breath. "AMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You bellowed?"

Kurayami jumped from tree to tree like a pinball for a moment before landing on Sasuke. Neko declared that Kurayami got the super high score of too many points to count and helped her get off of the Emo ninja.

"So, what was keeping ya?" Neko demanded.

"Kakashi tattled on me, the big meanie butthead," Kurayami announced, nudging a twitching Sasuke with her foot. "So, Grandma Tsunade was all grouchy when I came back."

Neko's eyes grew wide. "What'd she do?"

"She got all big and wrinkly and nasty and smelled funny and grounded me to Konoha for the week. Then she gave me a cookie and sent me off to Kakashi."

"She gave you a cookie?" Sasuke asked.

"Actually I stole the cookie from Shizune, but it's close enough."

"What'd Kakashi do?" Neko demanded.

"Well, he got all big and mean and didn't smell at all that bad and grounded me to the apartment for the rest of the week for being a stupid but beautiful kunoichi," Kurayami said.

"He actually called you 'beautiful'?" Sasuke questioned.

"Okay…so maybe he used some other words to describe me like foolish and crazy, but he was thinking I was pretty…" She kicked him in the side. "Like you do."

"No… I don't."

Kurayami shrugged. "That's your problem then. You're just a strange little Emo kid, Sasuke and not cool like your sister, who is going to help me tomorrow and the next day and the next day with my missions."

"What missions? I thought you were grounded." Neko muttered.

"Ah…I'm grounded to Konoha, so I won't leave Konoha. And I never listen to Kakashi anyway. He won't bother enforcing his punishments." Kurayami smiled brightly as she put her foot on Sasuke's head and pumped her fist in the air. "This is going to be one week that Konoha won't soon forget!"

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_A/N: Okay, so I'm borrowing a character from my friend who happens to be 'Weird Person With Weird Issues' and that happens to be Neko Uchiha. Don't hate the character just because she's in this book, she's actually a pretty cool character._

_Love the story or hate it? I want to know. Review this story now. It's not that hard and it takes about one or two minutes of your time. Thank you to those who do review! _


	2. Monday

_A/N: Okay…So like one person reviewed me and I find that rather discouraging, but I won't give up until I've gotten half way through the week!_

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**Monday: Mission Bad Hair Day!**

Kurayami and Neko crept into Sasuke's room and froze when he rolled over on the bed. Both were wearing kimonos and barefoot and had the same evil idea in their head.

"You ready?" Kurayami mouthed, holding out a pink bottle and some curlers.

Neko nodded and threw some needles at her brother's neck, ensuring that he would stay asleep long enough for them to do what they needed to do.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Neko declared, snatching the hair dye from Kurayami's hands and hurrying to her brother's side. "You have no idea how long I've waited to do something like this to him!"

"How long ago was your last prank on him?" Kurayami asked, scrambling onto Sasuke's bed. "Two? Three days?"

Neko shook her head. "But this is _different_! This is cool! This is something that everyone gets to participate in and I get to have a hand in starting it all off by embarrassing my brother!" She smiled down at her brother. "Let's get him to the bathroom, so we can begin his beauty makeover."

Kurayami smirked and helped Neko pick up the deadweight that was Sasuke. "I like the way you think."

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Kurayami and Neko laughed as they looked at the pictures they had taken of the still unconscious Sasuke. He'd never forgive them when he woke up. Not after what they'd done to his hair.

"What are you two laughing at?" Kiba asked, stepping into their path.

Kurayami's smile instantly fell. "Nothing Dog Boy. Now scat."

"I don't think I will until you tell me why you're holding a picture of Sasuke with pink hair."

Akamaru woofed.

Neko growled at him. "That's none of your business!" Then she smiled. "But it's pretty cool, isn't it?"

Kiba smirked. "Yeah."

Kurayami crossed her arms and stared at Kiba's hair hidden by his hood. "Kiba, what do you want me to do with your hair?"

"What?"

"What do you want me to do with your hair?" Kurayami repeated. "I mean, you wear it the same way every single day and it's getting kind of boring. I can help you change it up if you'd like."

"I don't think so."

Kurayami shrugged. "Too bad. Akamaru would look good with a new hairdo too."

Akamaru barked in agreement. Kiba glared up at him.

"Don't encourage her, boy!"

Kurayami reached over and plucked Akamaru off of Kiba's head and hugged him. "Let's see…What shall I give you? How about…a Mohawk?"

Akamaru woofed and Neko clapped her hands together, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Kiba lunged at Kurayami as she pulled out some hair gel, but Neko got in the way and pushed him aside.

"Don't mess with the master when she's at work," she ordered. "She needs to concentrate."

"Aw…You're so cute Akamaru!" Kurayami crooned, tossing the hair gel container at Kiba's face. "Yes you are!"

Akamaru barked and wagged his tail, licking her face. His fur had been slicked up into a Mohawk on top of his head and Kurayami was trying very hard to keep him from ruining it. Kiba's eye was twitching.

"You ruined him!" he accused.

"No, I didn't. I made him look cuter." Kurayami corrected, holding Akamaru in her arms. "You on the other hand, I will make look less cute because I don't like you."

She did a few hand signs and his hair went completely flat. Kiba screamed as he touched his flat hair and charged at Kurayami, but she simply smiled. Neko whistled and stuck her foot out, tripping him.

"See ya later Dog Boy," Kurayami purred, running over him.

"Bye Kiba!" Neko called.

Akamaru barked his goodbyes.

"Next stop, Neji's bedroom!" Kurayami declared, punching her fist in the air.

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"Neji, stop moving around!" a voice inside Neji's room said when his father was walking past the closed door. "Or you'll mess me up!"

"Sorry," was Neji's reply.

"Shh…Someone's outside the door," another voice said.

Neji's father rapped his knuckles on the door. "Neji, who's in the room with you?" he demanded.

"No one!" came the second voice and Neji's father realized it was a female.

"Ami! Shut up!" came the first voice, also female. "We're not supposed to be here. Neji, tell him so!"

"No one's here Daddy!" Neji called.

"Right." Neji's father muttered sarcastically.

Neji's father kicked open the door and found Kurayami sitting on the floor behind his son, braiding his hair while Neko was sitting in front of him, holding lipstick. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the three of them. Then Akamaru popped his head out from underneath the sleeve of Kurayami's kimono and woofed breaking the silence.

"What are you doing in here with my son, Houka?" he demanded in a hard voice.

"Um…braiding his hair," Kurayami replied, not bothered by the tone of his voice. "What's it look like Mr. Hyuuga?"

"And what about you, Uchiha?"

"I'm putting makeup on him," Neko replied, equally unbothered by the tone of his voice. "But he won't sit still!"

"Daddy!" Neji said, smiling at him. "After my friends are done with my beauty makeover, can we go chase butterflies and pick flowers?"

Neji's father sweat dropped. "What did you do to my son?"

"How about blowing bubbles?" Neji asked.

"I made him better," Kurayami replied, pulling another kimono out of thin air. "Your son was so cold and mean and annoying with his talks about destiny and fate and blah…He was so boring! So I decided to make him better."

Neko nodded and grabbed Neji's chin, turning his face back towards her so she could finish putting on the bright pink lipstick.

"Better?" Neji's father repeated.

"Yep. Better." Kurayami said, watching Neko. "Now, you're son thinks he's a six year old girly girl. Of course, it wasn't my idea to make him so girly, but it makes sense… It is Neji we're talking about…"

A nerve throbbed in Neji's father's forehead. "Change him back!"

Neko laughed at that and threw the lipstick at him before snatching the kimono out of Kurayami's hands. Kurayami shook her head as she stood up.

"Sorry… I can't do that until a certain time," Kurayami replied, smiling at him. "And even then, who knows how much he might get attached to being a female?"

Neji's father growled and charged at Kurayami. Kurayami sighed and reached for something at her waist, making Neji's father jump back, anticipating an attack.

"I really didn't think that it would come to this," Kurayami muttered, closing her eyes. "Neko, kindly cover Neji's eyes."

"Umm…we're having trouble with the kimono, so I don't think that'll be a problem." Neko replied, trying to keep the kimono she was trying to help put on Neji from eating his face.

"What are you doing?" Neji's father asked while Kurayami undid the sash at her waist.

"You'll see."

"No. Not in my house. Not in front of my son!"

Kurayami rolled her eyes and opened the front of her kimono. "PERVERT!"

Smoke rolled out from the inside of the kimono and needles came flying out of the cloth. Neji's father ducked out of the room and when he looked back, no one was in the room.

Scrolled across the wall in something smelly were the words: "We've taken your son out to chase butterflies and gather you some flowers to make you happy. By the way, check out your hair when you get the chance."

Neji's father ran over to the closet and opened it to look into the mirror that was on the inside of the door. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened in shock when he saw his reflection.

He was completely bald.

"KURAYAMI HOUKA I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!" he screamed, smashing the mirror with his fist.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami and Neko were perched on the roof of the Ichiraku Ramen Shop, watching the many people suffer from their prank. Neko had changed her hairstyle so that she would fit in with the others, but her hair style was one of those old French hairstyles where they piled their hair five feet on top of their head. The French may have used wigs, but Neko was going for the real thing and her neck was paying for it.

Kurayami had made her hair longer and black and had turned her skin a pale white. She looked like a female version of Orochimaru, a point that many people who noticed her on the roof couldn't seem to stop pointing out. It was starting to make her so mad that she was starting to hiss like a snake…

The people they had pranked were running around below them, probably trying to find someone who could undo their weird hairstyles. Sasuke had finally woken up and was running around Konoha after a clone of Kurayami and Neko, trying his best to ignore the people who were laughing at his curly pink hair. Kiba was looking around Konoha for Akamaru, who was safely tucked in Kurayami's arms. Kakashi was stopping at every shop window he could to check out his Elvis Presley inspired hairstyle. And Neji was running around in a kimono and braids, chasing a butterfly Kurayami had created to keep him busy and he was earning many weird looks from the people of Konoha who recognized the Hyuuga.

"Hey Orochimaru, what are you doing in my Village?" Ibiki demanded, glaring up at Kurayami. "And what are you doing with the female Uchiha?"

Kurayami's eyes narrowed. "I am NOT Orochimaru! I am Kurayami! And Neko is my coconspirator! So deal with it Ibiki Moron!"

"It's Morino!" Ibiki corrected. "Did you have anything to do with this?" he demanded, gesturing at the villagers who were freaking out about their hair.

"No…" Kurayami said before pointing at herself. "This is something I'd _never_ do because I'm an honorable Jounin."

"Ami!" Neji called, skipping over. "Thank you for putting up my hair and making me all so pretty!"

Kurayami glared down at the Hyuuga and made some more hand signs. "Just for that, Neji brat, you're getting double!"

The front of Neji's kimono expanded and made it look like Neji had grown breasts. A neon sign appeared over his shoulder and pointed at the 'breasts' and said: "Air pockets people!"

Neji smiled, waved and ran off in pursuit of a butterfly. Ibiki crossed his arms and looked up at Kurayami.

"I didn't do it."

He continued to stare up at her.

"I really didn't…"

Still staring.

Kurayami laughed nervously. "Ibiki, cut it out…you're starting to creep me out…"

Ibiki continued to stare her straight in the eye.

"Cut it out you bald creep who wears his brain outside his skull!" Kurayami shouted in a rush, nearly making Neko topple over with the volume of her voice, but she caught the Uchiha by her arm. "Ooh…you bug me so much when you do that!"

"Then just admit that you did this all," Ibiki ordered.

"No." Kurayami turned her back on him.

"Hey! Orochimaru's having a temper tantrum!" someone called from behind her.

"I AM NOT OROCHIMARU!!!" Kurayami screamed, getting a humongous head. "SO STOP CALLING ME THAT CREEP'S NAME!!"

"Falling down." Neko said, falling sideways onto the roof.

"Kurayami, end this genjutsu now and we'll all forget about this whole charade," Ibiki said, bringing her attention back to him.

Kurayami's green eyes glinted evilly as she looked down at him. "No. Instead, you can join everyone else, Ibiki Morino."

"What?"

Kurayami did some fast hand signs as she stared at him and smirked. The headband on his head started quivering. After a moment, it became still.

"There you go," Kurayami said, hugging Akamaru. "You are now officially part of the mission."

Ibiki stared at the window of the Ichiraku Ramen shop as he pulled off his headband to assess the damage. A small fro popped up and it seemed to be growing as he watched. He quickly pulled his headband back on, remarkably getting it over the fro.

"Ami, fix it!" he commanded.

"I did." Kurayami replied, petting Akamaru. "Now, you don't look like you are wearing your brains outside your skull."

Ibiki growled and jumped up to confront her, but she was already on a different building with Neko, who was standing up once more.

"Watch out Ibiki," Neko warned. "I think your hair is trying to eat the village!"

Ibiki looked up and saw that his headband was quivering again. "I'll deal with you later Houka!" he snapped before disappearing.

Kurayami looked at Neko and they burst into fits of laughter. Of course, Kurayami had to reach over and steady the poor Uchiha because she was starting to tip over again.

"Orochimaru!" Sasuke called, jumping onto the building's roof. "Let go of my sister!"

A nerve throbbed in Kurayami's forehead as she fixed her gaze on him. She hissed as she stared at him and made to move towards him.

"Wait! She's not Orochimaru!" Neko exclaimed, waving her arms. "She's Kurayami!" She looked down when her head started to fall to one side. "Oh no…Falling down again!"

Kurayami reached over and grabbed the girl's ear. "Stop falling down!"

"I can't help it!" Neko complained, stomping her foot. "This thing on my head is freakin' heavy! And I'm falling!"

She fell backwards and landed with a thud on the roof. Her hair landed on Sasuke's foot and he jumped up with a cry of pain and held his foot.

"Dammit Neko!" he hissed. "That was my foot!"

"Not sorry!" Neko said, crossing her arms.

Kurayami allowed Akamaru to jump from her arms and onto Neko. "What do you want Sasuke?"

"How do I know you're not Orochimaru?" Sasuke demanded.

Kurayami pointed at her chest. "Since when does Orochimaru have boobs, Emo Boy?"

"Never. And he wouldn't have failed in complete transformation nor would he call me 'Emo Boy'…You're Ami and you're dead!"

"I am?" Kurayami looked at her hands. "Damn…I look good for a dead person. I'm not all stiff and pale…Oh wait. I am pale...Never mind."

Sasuke growled and charged at her, planting his fist in her stomach. Kurayami gasped and grabbed his arm.

"Don't touch me, Emo Boy!" she snapped, sending electricity through his arm to give him an unpleasant shock that knocked him back. "I might get some contagious Emo disease that'll turn me all cold and evil like you!" She shuddered at the thought. "I'd rather be Orochimaru."

"Ew!" Neko exclaimed. "Not Lord Snake! Not Lord I-Can't-Keep-My-Tongue-To-Myself! Please don't Ami!"

Kurayami sighed and patted the girl's shoulder as she crouched down. "Don't worry. No one is going to have an identity crisis except for Neji and someone else…"

Somehow Neko found the strength to push herself up into a sitting position. "Who? Who?"

"Sasuke Uchiha…" Kurayami whispered. "Your very own brother will now become someone completely _different _compared to the boy, you see standing before you right now."

"I will not." Sasuke said, getting into a defensive position. "I'm not about to fall for something as stupid as your hair prank again. I'm not like the others."

"I know. You're Emo and boring. And I _really _don't like you." Kurayami said, standing up once more. "But because you haven't annoyed me as much as Neji, you'll only get one dose of genjutsu."

"You'll never catch me."

"I already did." Kurayami whispered in his ear. "You smell funny."

Sasuke looked down to see that his feet were dangling a few feet off the roof. The real Kurayami was holding him up by his shirt collar with one hand while she held her nose with the other.

"Honestly Sasuke, what cologne are you wearing? Ass?" the clone asked, approaching him slowly. "I do hope you realize that there's a difference between Ax and Ass, no matter how slight a difference that may be."

Sasuke growled and made to do a jutsu, but Kurayami was faster. She dropped Sasuke back on the roof. He was now dressed in a kimono with the Uchiha symbol on the back and he looked at Kurayami and Neko with a smile on his face.

"Hey Sissy!" he said, smiling widely at Neko. "Can I have a hug and a cookie?"

Neko burst into a fit of laughter and fell down again, hugging her sides. "This is priceless! Get a picture Ami!"

"I already did." Kurayami said, taking another picture as Sasuke noticed Neji running around below them.

"Hey Neji!" he called, waving happily.

Neji looked up and waved back. "Come and chase butterflies with me, Sasuke!" he called. "After we catch it and release it, we can pick flowers to give to our senseis!"

"Okie dokie!" Sasuke replied, jumping from the roof.

He took Neji's hand and they ran off to chase butterflies and pick flowers. Kurayami and Neko laughed evilly and vanished in a swirl of flower petals.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakura was freaking out as she looked in her mirror. "No, this can't be happening!" she exclaimed, trying to fix her hair. "This can't be happening! I can't go around looking like some Goth!"

Her hair was still short but now it was really dark black and she had somehow managed to get eyeliner, black eye shadow, and black lipstick on without doing a thing.

"There's no way Sasuke would even consider dating a Goth!" she cried.

_When I find out who did this, they'll be sorry! CHA! CHA! CHA!_ Inner Sakura screamed, punching thin air.

Sakura's eyes narrowed. "Ino did this. It must have been her." Then she banged her head down on the vanity. "Who am I kidding? Ino would never be able to pull off something like this and apparently other people are suffering from bad hair days. That's too much chakra for her to be wasting…"

_But who could be doing this? _Sakura asked herself, staring at her floor. _There's really only one person…_

"I'm going to murder…Naruto!"

"Help!" Naruto screamed, busting into her room through the window. "Ibiki's hair is trying to take over the village!"

Sakura blinked and stared at his hair. It looked exactly like Sasuke's had before this whole hair catastrophe.

"Naruto…so you didn't start this?" she asked.

"What? The hair thing? No…I think it was Ami and Neko," Naruto said, scratching his chin. "Remind me to kick their asses for giving me Sasuke's lame hairdo if we manage to avoid getting killed by Ibiki's hair, will ya?"

Sakura's eye twitched. "Kurayami and Neko did this to me?" she pointed at her face.

"Yeah, but you pull off the Goth look really well Sakura," Naruto complimented.

"IDIOT!" Sakura screeched, punching him in the face. "I _hate_ Goths!"

"Sorry…"

"I'm going to murder…Kurayami Houka and Neko Uchiha.!" Sakura declared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tenten screamed as her buns in her hair exploded in a shower of confetti. Gai-sensei and Rock Lee were busy with their own problems, so they didn't pay her any attention. Their problem was: gray hair.

"NO! This can't be happening!" Gai exclaimed, pulling another gray hair out of his head. "My youth is fading when it shouldn't be! What could possibly have done this to me? What evil being did this?"

"Gai…Gai-sensei," Rock Lee cried, holding bunches of gray hair that had once been in his own head. "What is happening?"

"I don't know Lee, but I plan to find out before our youth completely dies," Gai replied, looking down at the boy though he made a face at the sight of all the gray hair still left on the boy's head. "For you, this is more dire…"

"Sensei…I am scared."

"Me too Lee. Me too."

They hugged each other as they started crying. Tenten glared at them and her hands went on her hips.

"Will you two get a grip?" she demanded. "Honestly, I figured out who did this before even you, Gai-sensei and that's lame."

"What? Who did this?" Gai demanded, staring at her with snot coming out of his nose and tears running down his cheeks. "Who could be so cruel to a good looking guy like me and a hard working boy like Lee?"

"Her name is Kurayami." Tenten said.

"Kurayami…Never. That woman has something for me. She would never do such a thing to my youthful, manly features." Gai said, looking away.

"She did and I have proof." Tenten insisted.

"What proof do you have?"

Tenten held up a piece of the confetti that had come from her exploded buns. On it was writing that read: "Guaranteed to be a blast. - Love Ami!"

"We must hunt this demon down and get her to fix this!" Gai declared, pointing at the sun that was beginning to set. "Come Lee, we shall run until we find her, but stay in the shadows. We can't let anyone see us like this."

"Yes sensei!" Lee agreed.

_Honestly, I don't think anyone will notice, _Tenten thought, watching them run away like two madmen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ino ran around the street screaming. Her hair was on fire, but her scalp wasn't burning. It was just her hair that was being ruined.

"PUT IT OUT!" she screamed. "PUT IT OUT! Please put it out!"

Choji picked up a water hose and pointed it at her head. "Hold still Ino," he ordered around a rice cake he had stuffed in his mouth.

Ino stared at him in horror, but did what he said for once. Icy cold water sprayed her face and soaked her hair and her clothes.

"Is it gone now?" Choji asked, turning off the water.

"No." Shikamaru said, leaning against the side of a building, watching them.

Ino wailed and started running around again. "PUT IT OUT!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh no! It's Fro-zilla!" someone screamed, pointing at Ibiki's expanding hair. "Everyone run!"

Kurayami laughed as she held the headband that had shot off Ibiki's hair when it had reached the size of a Prius. Neko was lying on the ground, watching the hair reach up to the roof.

"Don't you think this is getting to be a bit much Ami?" Kakashi asked, glancing over at her.

"Nope. It hasn't tried to eat anyone yet and Ibiki's still alive down there," Kurayami said, crossing her arms. "When it does, I'll consider undoing the jutsu."

Neji and Sasuke came back into the village, arms laden with bunches of flowers. Their smiles fell when they saw Ibiki's hair expanding through their village. They screamed like little girls and ran away, throwing their flowers up in the air.

"AHH!!! Now it's raining flowers!" someone screamed. "It's the end of the world!"

Kurayami rolled her eyes. "Remind me to crush Asuma when we're done with this…He's making everyone panic with declarations that 'Fro-zilla is going to eat the village!' and 'It's raining flowers…It's the end of the world!' Honestly, I thought he was tougher Kakashi…"

"What? Him? No…he's a coward at heart…"

"I knew it!" Neko declared, smiling up at the sky. "Second-Hand-Smoke-Spreading-sensei is a big coward with bad lungs!"

"I AM NOT!" Asuma shouted back.

"The fro-monster is coming to get you Asuma!" Kurayami called.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don't let it get me!" Asuma screamed like a girl. "Take Kurenai or the children! Just don't eat me!!!"

Neko laughed evilly. "Sucker!"

Kurayami sat down on the side of the roof and nudged Ibiki's fro with her foot. "Are you still alive down there Ibiki?" she asked.

"I hate you, Houka!" Ibiki barked from somewhere under the mass of black hair. "I'll have you running laps around Konoha for months after this!"

"You're so mean Ibiki Moron," Kurayami commented. "Aren't you afraid that your head will explode from all that built up anger?"

"No."

"Well, it just might."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Ami!" Sakura hissed, jumping onto the roof with Naruto. "You have some explaining to do!"

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed. "Why did you give me Sasuke's lame hair?"

"Um…Because I felt like it." Kurayami replied, keeping her back to them. "There. I explained it all. Now shoo!"

"We're not leaving until you fix this!" Sakura growled, stomping over to her. "And I want my hair back now!"

Kurayami looked up at her with gold eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about Haruno…That is your hair."

"What? No it's not! This is a Goth's hair! My hair is pink!"

Kurayami flicked her tongue and looked back at Ibiki's hair. "You are really losing your touch Haruno. Can't even see past genjutsu…How sad…"

"Well, I can't see past it because you put too much chakra into it!" Sakura screamed. "You are a highly skilled Jounin with two freakin' demons in your body…No one can see past your genjutsu!"

"I highly doubt that. Though, Lady Tsunade does seem to be having trouble with her white old lady hair…For a Sanin that is sad…"

Sakura looked stunned. "Lady Tsunade can't see through this, either?"

"That's what I said little girl." Kurayami stood up when Ibiki's hair tried to eat her feet. "Now, if you want to survive, I'd suggest that you run because Ibiki's hair is…ALIVE!!!"

"Help!" Neko ordered, flailing. "I'm a French person in extremely big hair and I can't get up!"

Kakashi reached over and pulled her to her feet. "You are weird."

"Look whose talking Elvis!" she retorted, crossing her arms.

Kakashi looked away and ran a hand through his hair. Kurayami rolled her eyes and backed away from the expanding hair.

"Everybody run!" she commanded as the hair started swelling over the side of the roof.

Naruto, Sakura, Neko, and Kakashi followed her to a safe spot on top of the Hokages' monument heads. More people were starting to panic now that Ibiki's hair was really getting out of control.

"Ami…I think it's time to end this mission of yours." Kakashi commented.

"But why? I'm having so much fun torturing people!" Kurayami exclaimed, stomping her foot. She glanced down at Asuma, who was opening his mouth. "Say that I'm Orochimaru throwing another temper tantrum and you'll be blowing smoke out of your other hole!"

Asuma gulped and pointed at her. "Orochimaru's a freakin' girl everyone! And she's scary! Run!"

Kurayami growled and made to follow him as he ran away with his tail between his legs, but Kakashi tripped her.

"Ami, Sasuke and Neji are being eaten by Fro-zilla!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing. "Wait! Lee and Gai are trying to save them…Hey! They have gray hair!" He snickered. "And now they're being eaten too!"

"I don't think Ibiki will be able to last much longer with all that hair on top of his head…" Sakura commented, crossing her arms. "What a drag…" Her eyes widened. "Dammit! The Goth is taking over!"

_No! No! No! This can't be happening! I crush Goths!_ Inner Sakura screamed.

"Does that mean you crush Sasuke?" Kurayami asked quietly. "I mean, Emo and Goth is pretty much the same thing…One is just more emotional than the other…Sasuke is Emo. So are you going to crush him?"

"No!"

"Ami, you have ten seconds to undo this jutsu before I kick your ass," Kakashi said, glaring at her. "People are getting hurt and it's not funny anymore."

"It's just Emo Boy and Destiny Boy...Gai and Rock Lee…They don't really count as people, do they?"

"Hey! That's my little brother!" Neko snapped.

"You wanted to be part of this, so can it Neko!"

"Ami!" Kakashi growled.

"Fine! Big meanie butt!"

Kurayami undid the jutsu and Ibiki's fro started shrinking and stopped trying to eat people. Lee and Gai saw that neither one of them had gray hair again and hugged each other in happiness. Neji and Sasuke looked at each other and then at themselves and their eyes blazed with an inner anger.

"AMI!!!" they bellowed. "NEKO!!!!"

"I think it's time for the pranksters to make their dramatic exit," Neko said, walking over to Kurayami, her hair now back to normal.

Kurayami nodded and pushed a strand of her still black hair behind her ear. "We can go do this to the Akatsuki now…"

"Ami, you're grounded." Kakashi pointed out.

"So?"

"You can't leave Konoha for the rest of the week."

"They can keep me here if they can catch me."

"AMI WE'RE GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!" several dozen people shouted from below.

"Um…Neko, we should…RUN!!!" Kurayami screamed, grabbing Neko's hand and dragging her away. "Off to our secret lair!"

"My basement?" Neko asked.

"Not that one! The _other _one!"

"The one in the woods?"

"Shh!"

"AMI!!!" the mob growled, chasing after her.

"RUN!!!!!!!!" Kurayami yelled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Hehe…I'm evil to Sasuke and Neji because they're two of my least favorite characters, but I just love to torture them. Without them, the show wouldn't be worth watching… Actually with Kakashi, Itachi, and Orochimaru still around, I'd watch the show…_

_You should review now if you want to see what else happens to Sasuke…Flames would be nice to. Tell me that you hate me for dissing Sasuke and I'll be absolutely fine with it! JUST REVIEW!!!!!_


	3. Tuesday

_A/N: No one reviewed me. That would make me sad if I didn't think that this story was awesome anyway. You'll just have to deal with this weak attempt at humor in the Naruto universe._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Tuesday: Mission Torment the Pervs!**

Kurayami yawned as she fried eggs the next day. Neko was sleeping with her head on the kitchen table, drooling a little. Kurayami was tempted to throw some hot grease on the girl to wake her up, but she wasn't about to risk attracting Kakashi's attention so early. She didn't need him to get up until she had gone over the plans for today with Neko. So, she had to find another way to get the Uchiha up without producing a large amount of noise.

"Neko, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes," Kurayami whispered in the girl's ear, allowing a clone to take over the cooking of the eggs.

Neko's head instantly popped up. "I'll take two dozen…" She looked around and spotted the eggs that the clone was making and lost her smile. "Wait a minute…"

"Good. You're up," Kurayami said, taking a seat next to the girl.

"You tricked me!" Neko accused, sipping some milk.

"You brought it upon yourself," Kurayami pointed out, playing with the ties of her black silk robe that only went down to mid-thigh on her. "Now, pay attention Oh Sleepy Head. We have to do something big today."

"Didn't we do something big yesterday?" Neko asked. "Something about hair and making Neji and my brother think they were girls? I think I remember Ibiki's hair trying to eat the village."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…We did that all, but that's old news."

"Not according to my brother and the rest of Konoha who want you dead now."

Kurayami closed the window as an egg flew at it from outside. "They'll get over that eventually. Today, we have to do something to get at the pervs of the village. Including our dear, Kakashi-sensei."

"Why?" Neko demanded, letting her head sink back onto her arms. "Why can't we sleep in today and do the prank when everyone's awake."

"Because I said that we are going to do it all day, starting after breakfast, so eat up." Kurayami ordered as her clone pushed a plate full of fried eggs in front of Neko. "We probably won't be able to have lunch and I need to make sure that your stomach doesn't start eating you from the inside out."

Neko picked up a fork, resting her head on her hand and speared a piece of egg. "What's the plan?"

"Well, that's simple. We're going to torment Jiraiya, Kakashi-sensei, and lots of other pervs including the youth lover, Gai-sensei." Kurayami explained, glad that the girl was finally interested in the mission of today. "To get to Kakashi-sensei will be easy, but not as easy as getting Gai…That youth man is too gullible for his own good. And all we need to do to get to Jiraiya is be ourselves and invite over some less than attractive friends. We'll be in the hot springs to get at him…"

"I'm not about to get in the same hot spring as that old man!" Neko hissed. "Can't you think of some other way to get to him?"

"No. I've already decided what we'll be doing and I plan to keep it that way. You'll just have to get over your old man phobia and deal with it. Things can get nasty and weird when you become a true prankster."

"Then maybe I don't want to be a true prankster…" Neko mumbled under her breath. "That way no old man could get me…"

"Neko, don't worry. Jiraiya is harmless as long as you don't accept a drink from him. That's when you have to worry about him. Other than that, you'll have nothing to worry about. Except if you get caught."

"Do we have to dress like prostitutes or something?" Neko asked warily.

"No. You'll just have to wear tighter fitting clothes and act like you don't have a care in the world."

"We don't have a care in the world."

"That's right. You're catching on already." Kurayami stood up. "So, hurry up and finish your eggs. I have to go start the fun with Kakashi-sensei while he's still groggy."

"Whatever."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi opened his eye when he felt something sit on top of him. It was dark in his room, but he could make out the silhouette of someone on top of him. Whoever it was reached over him and turned his lamp on.

"Ami, what are you doing in here?" Kakashi demanded quietly, though he wasn't disappointed to have her there. He quite enjoyed it. "Aren't you supposed to be running laps or something for Ibiki?"

"Can't that wait Kakashi-sensei?" Kurayami purred, playing with the ties of her robe again as she sat on his stomach. "I don't feel like running around the village right now."

"I don't think Ibiki would approve of that."

"So? I have much bigger plans for today and they're better." Kurayami purred. "And they involve you, this robe, and this room right now."

"Really?" Now Kakashi was really interested in what Kurayami was doing there. "What would these plans be and will I like them?"

"It depends on if you like me," Kurayami said. "And if you can trust me."

"Ami, do I have to tell you everything again?" Kakashi demanded quietly, trying to sit up, but Kurayami pushed him back down onto his pillows with a small smile.

"I sometimes forget," Kurayami commented, running a finger down his chest, making goose bumps arise on his skin. "But I do remember everything. Including the fact that you like me."

She sat back on her heels and stared down at him. Kakashi stared up at her in anticipation of something he could only have dreamed of.

"Of course, I'm still sixteen and the kind of thing I had in mind is illegal," Kurayami muttered, drawing patterns on his chest. "But when have I ever paid attention to rules?"

"Ami."

Kurayami reached up and pulled down his mask, exposing his face. "I'm just going to have to deal with the consequences."

She bent down and kissed him, long and slow. The door opened a tiny bit and Neko peeked in through the crack. She gagged silently when she saw what Kurayami was doing and quickly shut the door, running to finish her breakfast. Kurayami's eyes opened as she heard the retreating feet and she smirked into the kiss.

Kakashi reached up to pull her closer to him, but Kurayami caught his hands and held them away from her. She pulled away from him and smiled at his confusion.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-sensei," she purred, attaching ropes to the bedposts and then tying them to his wrists. "But I simply can't do it. I can't break the rules this time…I thought I could, but I can't."

"Ami…"

"Shh…" Kurayami ordered, putting a finger to his lips. "Maybe I'll be able to do it later, but right now I have to go to the hot springs with a friend. I'll try to come back for you as soon as I can."

Kakashi watched her climb off the bed and struggled to get himself free. Kurayami opened the door and turned to look back at him.

"You behave now Kakashi-sensei," she commanded, blowing a kiss. "Bye."

She giggled quietly as she closed the door behind her and headed back towards the kitchen. Neko was rinsing off her plate when Kurayami found her.

"You really didn't have to make out with him," Neko commented, glancing at Kurayami. "There was nothing in the plan that said you had to make out with my sensei."

"Maybe not on your part of the plan, but on mine it did." Kurayami announced, leaning against the counter. "And I did not make out with him. I simply kissed him."

"What's the difference?" Neko questioned, hands going on her hips.

"There's more holding and tongue action in a true make out session," Kurayami explained. "When you get a boyfriend, you'll understand what I'm talking about." She smiled. "I just gave Kakashi enough of a push to make him come back for more, but he won't find anything. Well, maybe he'll find another sucker after we get Jiraiya and they can tell each other their sob story of the day."

"So, when are we going to get Jiraiya?" Neko asked.

"Go to your house and get a couple of white towels," Kurayami instructed. "Then meet me back here in five minutes. We'll get Jiraiya very soon. And if we're lucky, we'll also get Gai-sensei."

Neko rolled her eyes, but hurried out of the house to do what Kurayami instructed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami was waiting on the front step when Neko came back with two fluffy white towels. Kurayami herself was holding two towels herself and still wearing her black robe.

"Are you ready now?" Kurayami asked politely.

"Yes, but are you?" Neko shot back, eyeing the cat demon's choice of clothes. "I mean, you can't go through the village just wearing a robe."

Kurayami sighed and stood up. "Hold on."

She undid the robe, causing Neko to squeeze her eyes shut. Kurayami shook her head and crossed her arms over her tube top covered chest. She was wearing a black tube top and red short shorts, not nothing like Neko must have thought.

"Chill girl," Kurayami ordered, tossing her robe aside. "I'm covered. You can relax."

Neko hesitantly opened one eye and then opened the other. She sighed and wiped her forehead off on one of her towels.

"Good," was all the Uchiha could say.

Kurayami sighed and gathered up her towels. "Let's go already. We're wasting perfect perv torture time!"

Neko smiled slightly. "I'm ready to take down some perverts."

Kurayami smiled and started walking. "Well, let's go."

Neko fell into step next to her as they walked onto the street and merged with the villagers going on with their daily life. Some villagers looked warily at the two of them as if expecting them to do something to them that would interrupt their life far worse than the hair prank they had pulled the day before. Kurayami merely smiled and waved at a few of them.

"If Kiba continues to stare at my ass," Neko began, glancing over her shoulder. "I'm going to kick his!"

Kurayami crossed her fingers and glanced back at Kiba. "Play with the big kitty."

A black shadow panther came out of nowhere and started chasing Kiba around. Kurayami snickered and continued on her way through the village.

"He's not someone we need to prank today, but he could later become one of the pervs that we'll have to regularly torture," Kurayami commented, putting a hand on Neko's shoulder. "Then again, if your boy toy, Neji, was a perv we could have tortured him along with Jiraiya and Kakashi…It's too bad he's a destiny lover and not a woman lover."

"Yeah, too bad…" Neko agreed with a frown.

_How did she know that I like Neji? _Neko thought, glancing up at Kurayami. _I've been so careful…How the hell could she know? Unless…_

"I can read minds," Kurayami announced, breaking into Neko's thoughts.

"What?" Neko asked.

"I can read minds," Kurayami repeated. "And I can tell you that I know that Gai is over there behind that box, watching us with dirty thoughts running through his head."

"Oh…" Neko sighed in relief.

_Thank Kami, _she thought.

Kurayami pointed at the box and frowned. "Gai! Get out from behind that box! And don't pretend you can't hear me because I know you can! So you better get out before I decide to lose my cool and come over there to kick your ass in front of all the females of Konoha!"

"Lee! You too!" Neko ordered, knowing that wherever Gai went, the bushy browed kid would soon follow.

A cloud of smoke rolled out from behind the box and when it cleared, Gai was standing on the box posing with a smile. Lee was leaning against the box, looking less confident in front of the two kunoichi, but ready to tackle the world after his sensei anyway.

"Hey. How's it cracking you two?" Gai asked. "The world treating you good?"

Kurayami crossed her arms and looked at him like he was dressed like a clown - which she considered the green jumpsuit to be part of daily – and waited for him to do something else. Neko crossed her arms in suit and waited for something interesting to happen.

"I think life is treating you good," Gai commented, jumping off the box and circling Kurayami because she was the older of the two kunoichi and he liked her. "And I still can't believe that you would hide your youthful features everyday, but today…"

"Well Gai, it's because today I'm in an extremely good mood," Kurayami explained. "And right now, you're treading close to the line that could ruin it."

"You two look great today," Lee piped up, staring at Neko.

Neko suppressed the urge to shudder or kick him and looked away, watching Kurayami for some signal that would get them away from the two perverts.

_How can she be so comfortable with this kind of treatment? _Neko thought, watching Kurayami. _Does she have some immunity to the creeping feelings perverts give off or something? What is her secret?_

"So where are you two ladies heading?" Gai asked, noticing the fluffy white towels in Kurayami's arms.

"We're going to the hot springs." Kurayami stated. "And no, you can't come along with us."

Gai's and Lee's faces, which had brightened at the mention of the hot springs, instantly fell.

"But why not?" Gai asked. "We wouldn't dream of peeking on you two."

"We would not." Lee agreed, nodding his head furiously.

Neko snorted. "Yeah, right."

Gai straightened to his full height and put his hand over his heart. "We are not perverts. We would not do anything that would make a woman uncomfortable."

"You're a freaking pedophile Gai…You two follow women around, complimenting their youthful features and that makes them uncomfortable!" Neko pointed out.

Kurayami stepped between Neko and the two men in green jumpsuits with a sigh. "Gai, you mustn't pay her any heed. She's been lacking sleep for a while now and needs to relax, so she is very grumpy today and directs her anger on anyone she meets. You two, have nothing to prove to me about your status as a pervert or not, but I would suggest that you leave us be until we have had a chance to relax in the hot springs."

Gai frowned. "I see…Very well. We'll let you two relax before we talk to you again."

Kurayami bowed her head and hooked her arm with Neko's. "Thank you."

She smiled and hurried away, dragging Neko behind her.

"Gai-sensei, why did we let them go?" Lee asked, looking up at his sensei.

"There's one thing about women you need to know Lee," Gai explained. "They enjoy the idea of men pursuing them before the men actually do it…We'll simply let them think they're getting away before we get to them."

"Oh…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami pushed open the sliding door that led to the hot spring she had chosen and breathed in the steam. "Ah…What a perfect day to relax!"

Neko glanced at her as she walked past. "Are you on something?" she demanded. "This is the hot spring that Jiraiya peeks into the most and therefore, most sensible women avoid at all costs."

Kurayami shrugged and pushed the Uchiha into the hot water. "That's part of the plan, Neko. We want Jiraiya to see us."

"Maybe you do, but I don't." Neko gasped, resurfacing.

Kurayami shook her head as she waded into the water. "That's why we brought two towels," she explained in a whisper. "One for drying off and the other for wearing while we're in the hot spring. If anyone looks down in here, they'll only see our shoulders through the steam, but I doubt that'll stop Jiraiya from thinking of some way to make the steam less thick."

"You'd think that he'd realize that this is all just a trick," Neko muttered, leaning back against a rock. "He is a Sannin after all."

Kurayami laughed. "I've tricked two more skilled Sannin. Dealing with a perverted Sannin shouldn't be too hard for me." She looked around at the hot spring and smiled. "We could use more people here though."

"I told you that no one with any sense would want to come here," Neko reminded her.

"They don't have to be someone else. They can be clones. Here. I'll do it myself."

Kurayami's hands flashed and performed the signs necessary for Shadow Clones. Seven clones of Kurayami appeared and gave Neko a thumbs up.

"We can handle this," they declared in unison.

Neko sweat dropped. "I'm sure you can."

The clones settled around the hot spring and started talking amongst themselves. Some started laughing and splashing each other, making a lot of noise.

Kurayami leaned against the rock next to Neko's and smiled. "Now, all we have to do is wait."

"How are we supposed to know when he's coming?" Neko demanded, watching Kurayami's clones frolic in the water. "You can't possibly smell through the sulfur."

"I don't have to." Kurayami announced, closing her eyes. "I have some things watching for him for me. There's one to your left and one to my right. There's even one of the roof of the building we just left, in case he decides to come from that way. Don't you worry; they'll tell us if he's coming."

Neko frowned. "That doesn't comfort me in the slightest."

Kurayami sighed. "You worry too much. I have this covered."

"Did you check the water before we got in?" Neko questioned.

"No, but I didn't have to. I had someone else take care of that for me. Just in case."

Neko sighed herself and closed her eyes. "Well, I suppose you did take care of everything. Let's just hope your preparations are enough to keep Jiraiya and any other pervert at bay."

Kurayami didn't reply, but Neko could hear sloshing sounds coming from where Kurayami's hands were. She could even see a light glow coming from the water when she opened her eyes again.

_She's doing hand signs and building up chakra, _Neko realized, watching the glow. _Why would she be doing that? Unless they're already here and she can sense it! Oh Kami! Are they…_

The steam around them grew thicker and the sloshing stopped. Kurayami moved to Neko's right and vanished under the water.

"Don't move," one of the clones whispered while the others continued to play in the water. "They're here."

"Whose they?" Neko squeaked.

"Jiraiya and Kakashi…" the clone said, pausing as if listening for something. "Lee and Gai are coming in hot pursuit…Wait a minute! Why is Naruto here already? Unless…No, he didn't!"

Neko gasped and sank down in the water, so that her head was the only thing above it. She heard a bunch of crows cawing above her and guessed that those were what Kurayami had meant about scouts. What could be beat a crow as a scout besides a dog?

"Ami…?" Neko whispered, looking down in the water.

She heard someone curse above her head and stiffened. It was Jiraiya.

"The steam just won't become thinner!" Jiraiya complained. "There's chakra in it! Someone didn't want us to see them!"

"Wait Ero Sannin," Naruto ordered, surprising Neko. "The steam is clearing over there!"

Neko looked at the clones of Kurayami and noticed how the steam around them was starting to dissipate. They didn't even look like Kurayami anymore with their hair colors ranging from pink to blonde to black, but their towels were still the same as Kurayami's. She gasped.

_What is Kurayami doing? _

"Kurayami, where are you?" Kakashi asked, to the left of Neko on the roof.

Neko shivered at the idea of Kakashi finding her instead of Kurayami. _Please go away…Please go away…Please go away…_

"Hey, boys." Kurayami said, standing on the side of the hot spring with less steam. "I know you're there…Would you like to meet some friends of mine?"

The Kurayami clones stopped playing around and looked up at the boys that only they could see. Some waved while the others giggled and looked away as if they were embarrassed to be caught wearing only a towel.

"Girls, over there is Jiraiya," Kurayami said, pointing at the wall that Neko was leaning against. "He's one of the legendary Sannin."

"Hi Jiraiya," the girls chorused.

"I'm in heaven," Jiraiya commented and Neko heard him fall down.

"And over there is Kakashi, the Copy Ninja, master of over a thousand jutsu." Kurayami continued, gesturing at the roof of the building that Kakashi was perched on.

"Hi Kakashi," the girls chorused.

"Ami…" Kakashi said, trailing off.

"And over there is Kakashi's rival, Maito Gai," Kurayami said, gesturing at the wall that she and her clones were standing by. "He knows how to compliment a girl and tests himself constantly to better himself."

"Hi Gai," the girls chorused.

"Hi ladies," Gai said, waving.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed. "What about me and Bushy Brows?"

"You two are children," Kurayami said, crossing her arms. "You aren't even supposed to be here…"

"But Neko was supposed to be here," Lee pointed out. "Where is she?"

"Over in the steam, hiding from children like you," Kurayami announced. "Now would you and Naruto please leave because this is no place for children to be?"

Naruto growled. "I am not a child!"

"And you're not quite a teenager, now are you? You have to leave or I will pick up my things and go home with Neko."

Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Gai all looked at Naruto. "Go home Naruto," they ordered in unison.

Naruto sighed. "Fine. I have better things to do anyway."

Neko heard him vanish and Gai instructing Lee to go away.

"Goodbye Neko!" Lee called before running off.

_Two people down, three more to go, _Neko thought, watching Kurayami and her clones warily.

Kurayami waded over to her and handed her a large piece of plastic shaped like an exclamation point. "Here. You'll need this in a few moments."

"Why?" Neko asked, staring at the plastic exclamation point.

"You'll see." Kurayami promised before walking back over to the other side of the hot spring. "All right boys, you can come in now as long as you promise to behave."

The clones closed in around her, forming a cluster as the three men jumped into the water. Neko barely managed to suppress her squeak of surprise when she saw that all three men were wearing only towels around their waists.

_EW! Old men back! _Neko screamed in her head, diverting her gaze from Jiraiya. _I'm never going to get the image of __**that**__ out of my mind! And the image of nearly naked Gai will stay with me longer! Kurayami, I hate you!_

Kurayami shot her a look before smiling at the three men. "Well, why don't you three get acquainted with my friends?"

Jiraiya and Gai eagerly started talking to the women, but Kakashi was less enthusiastic to talk to anyone besides Kurayami.

"I've never seen these women in the village," he commented, staring at Kurayami. "Where did they come from?"

"Oh, from here and there, but don't worry, they're harmless," Kurayami assured him, refusing to give him any real information. "So…Why don't you talk to them? Make more friends Kakashi-sensei."

"I don't want to make friends right now," Kakashi announced. "Ami, have you thought about earlier?"

"About what?" Kurayami asked innocently.

"You promised that you would try again later and it's later," Kakashi pointed out.

Kurayami nodded. "I do believe I did say that. And true, it is later, but do you think that we should do anything now? Here? In front of my friends?"

"Well no, but…" He looked over in the direction of the steam. "We could go over there."

Neko froze and stared at Kurayami and Kakashi in horror. _They wouldn't!_

Kurayami smiled and kissed him on the cheek, ignoring his mask. "We could, but…" She pushed him down into the water next to Jiraiya and Gai who were pushed down by the clones. "There's something that the girls would like to do first. Neko, come over here too."

Neko cautiously waded over to Kurayami's side as the clones formed a line. She held the plastic exclamation point behind her back and looked down the line at the clones. Her eyes got wide and white when she saw that they were slipping off their towels.

_Has Ami finally cracked now of all times? _Neko thought, quickly looking at Kurayami instead of the eager looking men across from her.

Kurayami made no move to take off her towel and smirked. "And there you have it boys."

The men's smiles twitched.

"Ami, you have to be joking…" Gai said, staring at the clones as if expecting them to do something else.

"What's the meaning of this?" Jiraiya demanded.

"Ami…" Kakashi said.

Neko looked down the line and saw that the clones were wearing shorts and t-shirts with letters on them, spelling out the word: SUCKERS. She quickly pulled her exclamation point out and smiled.

_Well, this ain't so bad after all, _she thought with a sigh of relief. _Someday, I might even be able to look back at this day and laugh at the brilliance of it all._

"I'm sorry boys, but it is evident that you are all perverts and something had to be done about that," Kurayami said, crossing her arms. "It couldn't be helped. It was just too perfect of a chance to get you all at once that I couldn't pass it up."

"Yeah, we got you bad!" Neko declared, smiling wickedly.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Kakashi asked. "Ami did the whole thing."

"I helped lure you all here, didn't I?" Neko asked, looking at Kurayami for confirmation.

"You helped just fine," Kurayami assured her. "Let's leave the boys to talk amongst themselves about their problems of today."

The steam was starting to return to its normal thickness as the clones vanished and Kurayami and Neko climbed out of the water. Jiraiya, Gai, and Kakashi groaned when they saw how the drenched towels clung to Kurayami as Neko hurried inside to get something dry on.

"Don't come to the hot springs again in search of me again," Kurayami ordered the men, pausing at the sliding door. "You won't find anything that you're looking for."

She held the door open for a group of old women and slid inside the building, closing the door on the panicked screams of the three men. She giggled evilly and gave Neko a high-five. Her mission for Tuesday was now successfully complete.

"You won't believe what we're going to do tomorrow," Kurayami told Neko, scooping up her clothes.

"I can't wait to see what it is!" Neko assured her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: I love to torment pervs in reality as well as fictionally if you haven't noticed. You better review if you want this story to end or have questions about what the heck is going on. PLEASE REVIEW!!! T.T (me very sad if you don't)_


	4. Wednesday

_A/N: No one reviewed me, that's sad, but I'm not giving up! Believe it!_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Wednesday: Mission Torment the Closet Pervert Ebisu!**

Kurayami yawned as she wandered over to her window when someone knocked. Glancing at her clock told her that it was shortly after seven in the morning. The person at her window could be only one person.

She opened the blinds and unlocked the window before turning away and walking back over to her bed. Neko, bright and awake, opened the window and slid into the room with a smile on her face.

"Good morning Kurayami!" Neko declared, giving Kurayami a thumbs up as the Jounin sank onto the foot of her bed.

"What's so good about it?" Kurayami asked, staring at Neko through half closed eyes.

"What do you mean?" Neko asked, letting her hand drop to her side. "What couldn't possibly make this morning good? Unless…" She leaned forward to examine Kurayami's face. "Didn't you sleep last night?"

Kurayami's mouth twitched almost as if she wanted to smile but didn't have the energy to. "Sure. I slept a little last night, but one can hardly sleep when there's a horny shinobi down the hall."

"What?"

"Kakashi wouldn't stop trying to get in here all night or ever since he came back from the hot springs," Kurayami explained, running a hand through her disheveled hair. "I had to lock myself up in here and hold down the fort…Put up so many tags and traps that my room doesn't quite feel like a room any more, but like a war zone."

Neko looked around the room and noticed the different tags and wires that were around the door and the window. "How did you know that it was me?"

"Kakashi passed out awhile ago. If you looked outside my door you would probably see him lying on the floor, catching up on his own Z's." She closed her eyes. "But I wouldn't open the door anyway because he might just be laying in wait, thinking that he can catch me by surprise."

"You can't hide from him forever," Neko pointed out, crossing her arms. "You're going to have to come out of your room sometime…like today."

Kurayami nodded, bobbing her head up and down. "I know. We still have to torture the one pervert that we forgot to torture yesterday…Ebisu, the Closet Perv as Naruto calls him, needs to be punished for his disreputable behavior…"

Kurayami fell silent after that and Neko was sure that the cat kunoichi had fallen asleep. She allowed the other kunoichi to remain asleep while she picked up a pillow and examined one of the charts that lay scattered on the floor and bed. She couldn't make sense of them and knew that she probably never would. Neko sighed and slammed the pillow against Kurayami's head, making the older kunoichi wake up with an alarmed cry.

"Shh!" Neko hissed, tossing the pillow aside. "Do you want Kakashi to come barreling in here thinking that something evil has happened to you?"  
Kurayami shook her head and stood up. "Give me that tube over there," she commanded, pointing at a tube hiding under a couple of scrolls.

Neko quickly fetched the tube and handed to Kurayami. Kurayami popped the tube open and dumped something out of it onto her palm before closing the tube up once more. She stuck the object in her palm in her mouth and chewed, tossing the tube onto her bed.

"What was that?" Neko asked.

"Food pill," Kurayami announced, walking over to her closet. "I needed energy and now I've got it."

"You do realize that you could get depression from using them, don't you?" Neko asked, gesturing at the food pill container.

"Not me. I'm all depressed out and I enjoy life too much to give into such a weird side effect." Kurayami assured her, pulling out a pair of black pants and a spaghetti strap shirt. "Now turn around so I can get dressed."

Just as soon as Neko turned her back on her, Kurayami was done and pulling her sandals on her feet as she sat on the bed.

"So, I was thinking that we could get Naruto and Konohamaru to help us get the Closet Perv where we need him," Kurayami said, smiling at Neko. "Then we can take it from there and if they want, maybe we can let them watch what we do to the elite Jounin."

"Konohamaru is a brat," Neko pointed out. "And an Academy student. He shouldn't even know about these kinds of things, but since Naruto is with him, things have gotten out of hand." She shook her head. "I don't think we should let them stick around to see what we do to the man because they're young. And I really have something against that man, so things could get dirty."

Kurayami smiled and leaned forward. "What did our dear Ebisu do to you that makes you so evil at the mere thought of him?" she inquired, seeking knowledge.

"He looked at me the wrong way," Neko told her. "That's all you need to know and that's all you're ever going to know."

Kurayami shrugged. "Suit yourself, but we're getting the boys to get Ebisu to the first place. Something about taking his glasses when he least expects it."

"Fine. Let's just get this over with."

Kurayami followed her over to the window just as her door burst open. Kurayami glanced over her shoulder and watched Kakashi smash one of her tags with his foot, making it issue smoke as it was rendered useless. He looked confused for a moment as he took in Kurayami's and Neko's poses and then shook that off.

"Kurayami, where are you going?" he demanded. "You're grounded, remember?"

"Uh…uh…" Kurayami said, wracking her brain for anything that would help her out of this situation before he remembered yesterday.

"She's going out to see another man," Neko jumped in. "You see, he's been making eyes at her ever since she came back from her last real mission and she wants me to come along to help support her when she denies him the chance to get with her."

"Man? Eyeing Ami?" Kakashi asked, going back to his confused state.

"Yes. He's rather cute and a powerful ninja," Neko continued, pulling Kurayami through the window. "An elite Jounin in fact, much more talented than you, Kakashi-sensei."

"He's not!" Kurayami hissed in her ear.

"Shh!" Neko looked back at Kakashi. "She needs to let him down easy and she doesn't know if she can do that before he gets her to say yes and go out with him. That's why I'm tagging along to see if maybe I can help her stay away from him or tell her that maybe she deserves him more than she deserves you."

"Never!" Kakashi exclaimed, hurrying over to the window. "Kurayami and I are destined to be together."

Neko shrugged. "We'll see." She smirked evilly. "I'll try to draw pictures of what their children will look like if things work out for them. Then I'll compare them to the drawings I did of possible children for you two to see which pairing would create prettier children."

Kurayami forced herself not to gag at the thought of having children with Ebisu. Kakashi's eye narrowed.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would." Neko said, sticking her chin up defiantly. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got something to do. And you need to go to bed."

Neko grabbed Kurayami's arm and pulled her away in a cloud of smoke.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Naruto and Konohamaru laughed as they tossed the glasses that Ebisu normally wore back and forth as they ran through the town. Naruto had managed to pin Ebisu down with his Harem Jutsu again while Konohamaru distracted the elite Jounin and then they had stolen the glasses and bolted while the Jounin lay in pieces with a bleeding nose. Right now, he was far behind them.

"Man, I can't believe they're finally letting us take part in a prank!" Naruto declared. "This is going to be so much fun! Believe it!"

"You're right boss," Konohamaru agreed. "And I thought that they didn't like me."

"What's not to like?"

"I don't know."

"You don't have to worry about them anyway," Naruto assured Konohamaru, jumping from one roof to the next. "They just act like they don't like you and they really do, if they make eye contact with you and ask you to do things for them. In fact, I think Neko has a major crush on me."

"I have what?" Neko asked when Naruto ran into her and bounced back.

"Oh you know, a crush," Naruto said, smiling. "Don't you Neko?"

Kurayami took the glasses from Konohamaru and patted his head. "Naruto that doesn't matter right now. We have work to do and I thank you for performing the Harem Jutsu so that Ebisu would be worked up a bit."

"Uh…You're welcome Ami," Naruto said. "But can't we have a part in this too? I mean, c'mon! It was my jutsu that told us that he's such a closet perv. Can't I have a part?"

"Naruto, you have no idea how to work a man like we do," Kurayami declared, crossing her legs as she sat down on a box next to Neko. "And we are not about to impart that knowledge upon you two so that it won't work when we decide to do it to you or you get a girlfriend, whichever comes first."

Naruto crossed his arms, but before he could say anything, someone shouted.

"NARUTO!!!!" Ebisu shouted, running towards them. "HONORABLE GRANDSON!!!"

Kurayami smiled. "Go now Naruto," she commanded in a whisper. "You'll get to have a part in one of the better pranks soon enough. Trust me."

"All right!" Naruto exclaimed before vanishing with Konohamaru in a puff of smoke.

Ebisu slid into the smoke cloud, caught off guard by it. When it cleared a bit, he saw his glasses and made to take them from what he thought was Naruto.

"I've got you now you insolent bra-!" Ebisu forgot the last part as the smoke cleared up enough to see Kurayami, holding the other arm of his glasses. Then he spotted Neko, watching him with an amused smile. "Ladies, I am sorry. I did not know it was you…I thought it was that brat Naruto."

"Oh, what's with the apologies Ebisu?" Kurayami asked, smiling as one of the straps of her spaghetti strap shirt slid down her shoulder. "You had no idea that the boy would put the glasses in my hand and then vanish in a puff of smoke. It could have happened to anyone."

Ebisu nodded. "Thank you for being so understanding, Ms. Houka."

He tried to take the glasses back from her, but Kurayami wouldn't let go. She smiled at his efforts to get it without breaking them and glanced at Neko. Neko nodded and slid off her jacket, revealing a tight fitting t-shirt with mesh around the neck and on the stomach. Ebisu's mouth twitched, but he quickly shook it off.

"Ebisu," Kurayami purred, rubbing her leg against his as she uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, attracting his attention. "Look me in the eyes."

"Madam, don't try to pull anything on me," Ebisu commanded, not quite meeting her gaze. "I know how you enjoy a good prank on everyone."

"Oh, I wouldn't do it to the greatest of ninjas," Kurayami assured him, trying to get him to focus on her.

"I'm a great ninja?" Ebisu asked, sounding unsure of himself.

"Oh, you're the greatest," Kurayami and Neko crooned in unison.

"Well, I do have some talent," Ebisu said. _Score!! I've gotten the girl that Kakashi wanted…I must be an elite Jounin after all!_

Kurayami smiled at his thoughts. "About you looking me in the eye…" she prompted.

"Oh, yes." Ebisu looked down into her eyes. "What am I supposed to be looking at in your luminous eyes?"

Kurayami sighed. "Well, I thought I had something in them, but if you can't see anything then there must be nothing there." She stood up, breaking eye contact with him and making him back away to put some appropriate distance between them. "Here are your glasses, Ebisu."

Ebisu took the glasses and looked confused for a moment. What had he been doing before she asked him to look in her eyes? Oh yes. Now he remembered.

"Would you and your friend want to get a bite to eat?" Ebisu offered, glancing at Neko.

"Sorry. We're heading towards the hot springs today…" Kurayami told him, nudging Neko with her foot to get the girl to stand up too. "I'm sorry to have bugged you Ebisu."

She bowed her head and led Neko away, ignoring Ebisu's assurances that he had not been bothered by their meeting. Neko leaned towards her as they walked.

"So when are we going to get him?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Kurayami glanced at her. "We already got him."

"We did?"

"Of course we did. Weren't you paying attention?"

"Um…I think I missed something."

Kurayami rolled her eyes and pulled the girl to a stop. "I made him look in my eyes," she explained. "Why would I let that creep look me in the eyes?"

"Because you were trying to creep me out?" Neko guessed.

"No because I was putting him under my genjutsu," Kurayami said, not impressed by the Uchiha. "I technically don't need to use hand signs to put him under genjutsu."

"Oh." Neko's eyes got wide as saucers. "So, what'll he see?"

"Us. Everywhere. In very provocative clothes and the only way he can get rid of that problem is by coming to see us." Kurayami told her. "And we'll be in the hot springs again."

"Not again. I didn't bring any towels!" Neko exclaimed.

"They have towels there for everyone's use and they are just as good as the towels at our places. Besides, he won't see us wearing the towels only. He'll see us wearing what we normally wear. That's part of the plan too."

"O-kay…" Neko said, following the older kunoichi. "I don't like the idea of the closet perv seeing me in provocative clothes, but if that's how I can help torture him for the day, I'm up for it."

"Good for you. Now all we have to do is wait for him to figure out what he needs to do to get that genjutsu off and come to see us. Then we can torture him some more for ourselves."

"Hey Ami," Neko said after walking next to her for a moment in silence. "Can you promise me that he won't see us naked as part of the genjutsu?"

"I can't make that promise."

"Can you at least promise that he won't see _me _naked?" Neko asked, crossing her fingers.

"That I might be able to promise."

"So is that a yes?"

"…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ebisu was walking around the village, trying to find Naruto because he knew that where Naruto was Konohamaru was sure to be close by. But he was distracted. Something didn't feel right and he didn't know why he felt that way. All he knew was that something was wrong and it had all started after he had met Kurayami and Neko that day.

_But she couldn't have done anything to me_, Ebisu assured himself. _I had my guard up and everything…There's just no way she could, unless…_

"Oh Ebisu!" someone called and it was someone feminine.

Ebisu turned around and saw Kurayami standing there, wearing an extremely short skirt and a short jacket with nothing underneath. She winked at him and waved as Neko leaned on the wall next to her, wearing a lot of mesh though she was covered in areas that needed covering.

"Uh…ladies?" he asked, unsure of himself as he felt pressure in his nose.

Kurayami smiled and waved again. Neko blew a bubble out of bubble gum and let it pop before chewing again.

"Ebisu-san!" someone else called. "Over here!"

Kurayami was standing on a roof, surrounded by smoke while Neko was sitting on the edge, wearing very tight leather shorts and a tube top.

The pressure in his nose increased. Yet, no one around him seemed to be bothered by the display these two were putting on. Could they not see the disreputable behavior that the Houka was displaying?

"Ebisu-san!"

"Ebisu over here!"

"Over here!"

"Over here!"

"No over here!"

"Would you like a hug Ebisu-san?"

"Over here Ebisu-san!"

"Ebisu-san!"

"Master Ebisu!"

Ebisu spun around and around after he found he could not run from these creatures in provocative poses and attire. They just seemed to follow him everywhere. And they were so…

His nose finally bled and sent him shooting through the air.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Ebisu finally regained consciousness, he found that people were surrounding him, talking in quiet voices.

"Shh…I think he's waking up!" one person said when he groaned.

Ebisu opened his eyes and found himself looking up at a number of Kurayami and Neko clones in the different stages of dress and in varying revealing clothing styles.

He promptly got another nosebleed and blasted away from them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami laughed as she watched Ebisu in a crystal ball. She and Neko were relaxing in a hot spring and enjoying themselves as they watched Ebisu suffer.

"I think I like him better this way," Kurayami commented.

"There has got to be a limit to how much blood a person can lose through their nose before something bad happens to them," Neko said, watching Ebisu's nose spout more blood. "And I think he may have reached his limit…"

Kurayami shook her head and pushed herself onto the rock behind her. "Sit on a rock Neko," she commanded. "In one more nosebleed, he'll be popping into this water and that'll have him awake and somewhat responsive…"

Neko cocked an eyebrow, but did what Kurayami told her to and sat on a rock, making sure that her towel was covering her as it always should. Kurayami started a countdown under her breath.

"Three…two…one…" Kurayami muttered.

"Disreputable behavior!" Ebisu declared, spouting blood and landing in the hot spring that the two kunoichi had just been in.

"And now he's going to scream as the heat gets to him at the bottom of the spring," Kurayami told Neko. "He'll do that as soon as he breaks the surface."

"HOT!!!" Ebisu exclaimed, jumping up out of the water only to land on it without breaking the surface. "Hot! Damn that's hot!"

Kurayami and Neko couldn't help but giggle at the sight of him all bloody and wet, not to mention bright red from his dip in the hot spring. Their giggles attracted his attention and he looked at them, seeing them in the same outfits that they had been in before everything had started going wrong for him.

"Kurayami, you have some explaining to do," he declared, pointing at her while he put his other hand on his hip. "What have you done to me to make me see you and your friend in…disreputable outfits or lack there of?"

"You've been seeing us naked?" Neko asked, her eyes going wide again. "EW!! You are a closet perv like Naruto said you were!"

"No…That insolent brat knows nothing about me and I would not go along with such behavior if Ms. Houka had not put me under her power, I can assure you of this Ms. Uchiha."

Neko shuddered and stuck her tongue out at him, hugging herself tighter. Kurayami smiled.

"So, you've discovered that I put you under my genjutsu, have you?" she asked. "Well, why haven't you lifted it if you are such a great Jounin, Master Ebisu?"

"I would have but –" Ebisu began.

"But you enjoyed it too much!" Neko accused.

"I can most assuredly tell you that I have not!" Ebisu said hastily. "I just mean that I can't release myself from this genjutsu because as with your hair genjutsu, you have put too much of your strong chakra in it and constantly renew the genjutsu when you think I have found a way out of it."

Kurayami smiled proudly and clapped her hands. "Bravo. You've passed the test. You should be proud of yourself. A lot more powerful ninjas have not been able to discover how to get out of my genjutsu as quickly and those genjutsu tricks were far worse than any provocative or hair pranks, I can assure you Master Ebisu."

"Since I have passed this _test_, I would like to be released from this cursed genjutsu, Madam."

Kurayami shrugged and made a hand sign with one of her hands. "If that's your final decision, I guess I have no choice, but to release you," she muttered.

_Jeez, dramatic much? _Neko thought, watching Kurayami.

Ebisu closed his eyes for a moment as Kurayami released him from the genjutsu. When he opened his eyes he found himself standing on water in front of two women clad only in towels.

"AH!!!" he exclaimed, pointing at them. "You two are – are -!"

Kurayami smiled and crossed her legs. "Hey Ebisu, this is the girl's hot springs…"

Ebisu was wordless as he twitched.

Kurayami looked at Neko. "There's really only one thing to do now…"

Neko nodded and the two of them looked at Ebisu.

"EBISU'S IN THE GIRL'S HOT SPRINGS!!!!" the two kunoichi shouted in unison at the top of their lungs. "HELP!!!!!!!!"

"EBISU!!!!" several male ninjas shouted, coming in the direction of Kurayami's and Neko's continued screams.

"Uh-oh…" Ebisu whispered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami and Neko glanced past the male ninjas that had come to help them to see Ebisu in a bruised lump on the ground, being talked to by Tsunade for his disreputable behavior. They snickered evilly and thanked the ninjas that had been their 'saviors' before hurrying into the changing rooms to get their clothes on.

"This has been more fun than what we did yesterday," Neko declared, sliding her towel off as soon as she got her undies and pants on. "But I know we can do better."

"Of course we can." Kurayami agreed, sitting on one of the benches to put her sandals on as she had already changed back into her clothes. "There's always more fun to be had with bigger, better pranks. We just need to expand our pool of people we are going to prank."

"How?" Neko asked, her head stuck in the collar of her shirt.

"Oh, you'll see." Kurayami told her before vanishing as Kakashi called her name.

"Um… a little help?" Neko requested, still stuck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: I forgot to torture Ebisu in the last chapter so I decided to hurt him only in this one. You know this was sort of funny and if you didn't think so or did, tell me about it. You don't even have to use full sentences. JUST REVIEW!!!!!_


	5. Thursday

_A/N: Okay…no one is reviewing me besides someone who is close to me. That really upsets me, but I can deal with it for now._

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**Thursday: Mission Sabotage the Akatsuki!**

Kurayami sighed as she held the Akatsuki robe from her past that she hadn't felt like throwing away out in front of her. She knew it was wrong to have kept it when she had sworn her allegiance to the Leaf Village again, but she just couldn't toss out a piece of her past and one so full of memories – though many were bad and bloody and involved her killing people – of Itachi…

"Get a grip Ami," she told herself, tossing the robe onto her bed. "You have a prank to do and even though it involves the Akatsuki, you don't need to get all nostalgic and shit... You have to orchestrate this thing perfectly or people could get killed. People like Neko."

She glanced at her window, wondering when the orange haired ninja would come and help prepare for the damn prank. She was supposed to have been at the window by seven and already it was seven fifteen.

"It better not have been her brother…" Kurayami growled, twirling a red balloon sword in the air. "I told him that I was having her spend the night over here and that I wouldn't take no for an answer. To him no means nothing…I've got to do something about that next week."

She wandered over to her calendar and made a note on one of the boxes crammed with tiny writing. Her window opened and Neko stepped in, carrying a sleeping bag and a backpack.

"Hello! Sorry I'm late, but I –" Neko began, dropping her sleeping bag on the floor.

"You were detained by the Emo Kid, who said that you couldn't come here because I'm a bad influence and that he doesn't like me one bit," Kurayami said, frowning as she kept her back to Neko. "He wanted you to stay home and help him train until it was time for you to go to bed which is at precisely nine o'clock…Yes, I know."

Neko's eyes went wide. "_How _do you know?"

"One, I can read minds. Two, your brother always says that when you want to hang out with me," Kurayami counted on her fingers, turning to face the girl. "Why is he so predictable again?"

"He has no imagination."

"Right. I have to work on that too." Kurayami promptly turned to her calendar again and started writing that appointment on her calendar on a different month. "Get Emo Kid an imagination, half off normal retail price…" She glanced at Neko. "I'm cheap when it comes to your brother…"

"Uh-huh…" Neko said, rolling her eyes. "So, why'd you have me collect dirt and rocks?"

"We're going somewhere to prank the Akatsuki," Kurayami explained, poking the girl with the end of her balloon sword. "We have to go to their hideout and do some swapping."

Neko's eyes bugged out of her skull nearly. "YOU KNOW WHERE THE AKATSUKI HIDEOUT IS AND YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE? YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME?"

"Don't act so surprised," Kurayami said, crossing her arms. "I don't want to revisit that part of my life that much and I physically can't tell anyone where to even begin looking."

"Why the hell not?" Neko demanded.

"I made a number of oaths of pain to ensure that nothing would be revealed to anyone about my past life unless they started figuring out the things themselves," Kurayami explained. "That's why I couldn't tell Kakashi and the Hokages what had happened to me for the six years that were unaccounted for in my Nin log. I had to keep the Akatsuki and Orochimaru parts of my life a secret…"

"But why?"

"I've already told you and I won't repeat myself."

Neko shook her head. "How can you take me on a prank with you to the Akatsuki hideout if you don't tell me where it is?"

"Simple. You'll be blindfolded until we get there and then again on the way back." Kurayami said, pulling out a blindfold. "It'll be uncomfortable and you'll have to ride on my back, but it's necessary for the success of this prank's beginning."

"What about your backpack?" Neko asked, gesturing at the bulging black bag on the bed.

"I'll hold it to my chest with one hand until we get there."

Neko sighed and held her hand out. "Give me the blindfold."

"Oh, you won't be able to see through it no matter how hard you try. Once it's put on, it stays on until I say that you can take it off," Kurayami announced, handing it over. "So, I hope you enjoy being in the dark for awhile."

Neko rolled her eyes and secured the blindfold in place. It tightened slightly to fit over her eyes perfectly. "Let's get this over with."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami set Neko down when they managed to get into the hideout the way she always took – a secret set of tunnels that she knew the path to and were a lot more silent than the normal way.

"Okay. Open your eyes and take a look at the darkness that is the Akatsuki hideout," Kurayami ordered in a quiet voice. "And keep your voice at a whisper. I don't know how tight security has gotten around here, though I suspect that not much has changed since I was here last week…"

Neko didn't want to ask why Kurayami had been there the week before. She simply worked on getting the blindfold off and when it fell away, her mouth dropped at the sight of the hideout. It was dark and there were a lot of weapons shining on the back wall. A hall branched off the main room and Neko guessed that maybe that led to the rooms that the Akatsuki slept in when they weren't killing people or disturbing the peace.

Kurayami stretched and smiled as she looked around at all the torches. "Ah…It's sort of good to be back at home number two," she commented. "Anyway, let's take care of the weapons first."

She headed over to the weapons and frowned as she held her hand away from the first katana.

"Well, that's not going to be a problem, but they should have done something else if they wanted to keep their precious weapons safe in the night…"

She did a few hand signs and Neko gasped when blue light radiated from the swords. The orange haired kunoichi glanced back at the halls, afraid that maybe some of the Akatsuki had seen that light and were going to come to investigate.

"Do…do…di…do…do-ti…do…" Kurayami sang under her breath, pulling out her balloon sword and swapping it with the Akatsuki katana.

"Ami!!!" Neko hissed under her breath. "What are you doing?"

"Swapping weapons for balloon weapons," Kurayami explained. "Actually, you're going to take over doing that. I'm going to go into the boys' rooms and swap their nail polish for bottles of mud. They have a ritual of painting their nails when they wake up and I'd love to see how they react when they get a mud paint to cover their chipped nails, but alas! we must be off before they even wake up."

Neko shook her head and watched Kurayami bound away, taking bottles of mud and a small sack with her. "She's going to get us killed before midnight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami returned shortly after ten with a bag full of black nail polish. Neko glanced down at her while she placed a large balloon shruikan on the wall in the place of a real shruikan.

"Don't look at me like that!" Kurayami ordered quietly. "Technically I'm not stealing the black nail polish from them. _I'm _the one who bought it for them."

"I don't want to know why," Neko muttered, jumping away from the wall. "And how the hell did you not wake up anyone?"

"Knock out gas," Kurayami explained. "Plus the fact that cats are the second most silent creatures of the night. Shadows are the first."

"Shadows aren't creatures."

"Shut up and help me go down the Pit of Death," Kurayami commanded, heading towards a large hole in the ground.

"The Pit of Death?" Neko asked, staring down the dark hole. "Why does that sound dangerous?"

"Because there's a bunch of spikes down at the bottom that will impale you in several places if you land on them the wrong way," Kurayami explained. "Hence why it's called the Pit of Death."

Neko frowned. "We're not going down there, are we?"

"We are because they have a secret treasure trove of candy and other sweet foods," Kurayami declared, examining a picture of herself on the wall behind the Pit of Death. "They should be running low because I've forgotten to bring them sweets for awhile as part of a strategic move and that means we'll have enough room in our bags after we get rid of the rocks in them."

"How can there be a damn treasure trove of sweets down there if there are spikes down there that can impale us?" Neko demanded.

"There's a button that you can push up here that gets rid of the spikes," Kurayami explained, moving closer to the picture of her. "And I think I know what it is, so you get ready to jump when I tell you to."

She poked the picture of her in the neck, but heard nothing move down in the Pit of Death. She sighed and pressed the heart. Again, nothing happened.

"Oh, the sick little perverts!" she snarled quietly through her teeth.

She pointed two fingers at the picture and pressed the picture's breasts. There was a click down in the pit and Kurayami knew that the spikes were retracting into the ground.

"C'mon. Let's go down the pit and get the goods," she said in a tense voice. "I want to get over with this as soon as possible."

Neko moved to the side of the Pit of Death and jumped down it at the same time as Kurayami did. She couldn't understand what had made Kurayami so mad about the picture. True, she had had to poke herself in the breasts, but Neko thought that Kurayami would be used to boys acting that way around her. She had proved that she was indifferent to men gawking at her and making sexual comments about her during the past couple of pranks. Why had the Akatsuki been different?

They landed easily on the floor of the Pit of Death and Kurayami led Neko through a door on the right side. A small pile of candy and other sweets stood in the middle of the room.

"Let's get this over with," Neko whispered, taking a step forward.

Kurayami threw her arm out and caught the orange haired kunoichi in the chest. "Don't take another step until I deactivate the security measures they put on the candy. They don't trust anyone, especially each other when it comes to the candy stash."

Kurayami did some rapid hand signs and then moved forward, pulling some rocks out of her backpack. "And now, we make them really mad."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Akatsuki woke up and congregated in the main room when several members screamed in rage. Their fingernail polish had been transformed into mud. When they went for their weapons, they found that they had been exchanged for balloon weapons. This infuriated them even more.

"What about candy?" Tobi asked, gesturing at the Pit of Death.

Itachi's eyes narrowed and he poked Kurayami's picture in the breasts. There was a click and all the Akatsuki members jumped down the pit, landing softly on the ground. They took the right door and ran into the room before becoming frozen in terror.

Their precious pile of candy and sweets had suddenly become a pile of rocks. They stood in the room in shock for a few moments before Itachi broke away from the group. He stopped in front of the rock pile and pulled a piece of paper out from under the topmost rock.

_To whoever finds this, probably Itachi Uchiha the smartest of the Akatsuki: _

_I'm not sorry to have done this with the only female Uchiha still alive because I feel that you deserve this and so much more. Don't worry about your precious candy, weapons, and fingernail polish. They're safe somewhere outside your hideout. And the secret of your hideout's location is still a secret – your sister doesn't seem to like blindfolds much Itachi, like you – and shall remain so as long as no one finds it without my help. I hope you enjoyed my prank and don't feel like coming to visit me anytime soon here in the Leaf Village. I've got enough problems without you here and you can always take your problems out on me when I stop by in a couple of weeks with some of your favorite special brownies._

_Talk to you later. – Ami_

_P.S. – If you're stupider than Itachi and are reading this, your precious objects are hanging on the big tree outside the hideout. Goodbye._

Itachi smirked and stuffed the note inside his robe. _Goofing off as usual_, he thought before turning to face his panicking 'friends'.

"The stuff is outside on the big tree," he announced. "Houka and my sister put them there last night."

As he expected several members of the Akatsuki yelled curses on the two kunoichi and threatened their lives as they ran for the exit. They could be so stupid sometimes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi opened the door and peeked into Kurayami's room in the morning. He smiled when he saw her curled up in a ball on her bed, sound asleep and noted that Neko was sprawled in her sleeping bag likewise sound asleep.

_It's good to see that she didn't do anything stupid last night, _he thought, watching Kurayami for a moment. _I guess she was too tired to pull any pranks that would risk her body and that's a good thing…Unless…_

He shook his head and closed the door behind him as softly as he could. A chocolate ball and a bottle of nail polish fell out of Kurayami's hands as she rolled over, still fast asleep.

"Good prank…" she muttered in her sleep. "Next time…more balloons…"

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_A/N: Weird ending, weird chapter. Review me!!! Or I shall send you down the Pit of Death!!!_


	6. Friday

_A/N: You people depress me, but I will not let you ruin Ami's birthday! So read on and then review if you have a heart!!_

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**Friday: Mission Ami's Halloween Birthday!**

Kurayami and Neko were in Kurayami's room, debating on costumes when they woke up shortly after Kakashi left them alone. So far, they weren't getting anywhere far with their ideas…

"Maybe I can be a female version of Itachi," Kurayami commented, transforming into the said version of Neko's older brother. "I have the robe and everything."

"That would just lead to people freaking out and attacking you because Itachi is a wanted criminal," Neko pointed out, watching Kurayami move exactly like her brother would in front of her. It was creepy. "So, no being Itachi for you."

"Fine." Kurayami said in Itachi's voice. "What do you want to be?"

"I could be an Akatsuki member," Neko said, gesturing at Kurayami's robe. "I could borrow your robe and be all moody like the rest of the Akatsuki after painting my nails black and putting on too much eye makeup."

Kurayami shook her head as she transformed back into her pajama clad self. "You'd cause too much panic if you dressed up like an Akatsuki member. Tsunade would have her ninjas on you in an instant, so don't even think about being an Akatsuki member for Halloween."

"Whatever…Your turn to pick a costume."

Kurayami smiled. "I could be Eve."

"Eve?" Neko asked.

"Yeah. Eve." Kurayami did some hand signs and transformed into her Sexy Jutsu form. "The Eve from Adam and Eve."

Neko covered her eyes. "Not that many men would object to that idea, but you can't walk around Konoha naked all day. Tsunade wouldn't allow you to do that even though it's a costume…Sort of…"

Kurayami pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Your turn then."

"I could be Kabuto," Neko suggested. Then she frowned. "But then again, he's an enemy of the Leaf Village and that would cause more people to attack me. So never mind. Your turn."

"I could be a female Orochimaru." Kurayami said, changing into that form. "I could make a perfect Orochimaru female," she crooned in Orochimaru's voice. "Look. I've even been practicing his tongue thing."

Kurayami's tongue slid out of her mouth and stretched out far enough to pick her hairbrush off her vanity all the way across the room. She dropped it lightly in her hand and then looked up at the ceiling. She swallowed her tongue like Orochimaru did and smiled at Neko.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked in Orochimaru's voice as she brushed her hair. "Can I be a female Lord Snake for my birthday?"  
Neko shook her head. "I know you were a female him on Monday and no one really attacked you, but I don't think we'll be that lucky this time. People might freak out and you could get hurt."

Kurayami chuckled like Orochimaru and shook her head. "You don't have to worry about that. No one will touch me. But if it'll make you feel better, I'll dress up in another outfit, but keep his hairdo and makeup."

Neko nodded. "That'll probably be for the best."

Kurayami nodded and started rummaging through her closet. "Your turn to figure out what you want to be."

Neko sighed and lay across Kurayami's bed. "I think I'll be my baby brother this Halloween. I could really pull off Sasuke if I wanted to. But I think I'll keep my hair orange. Orange is so much better and cooler than dark blue anyway."

"Mhmm…" Kurayami agreed, pulling out a mesh shirt and a short skirt. "I'll wear these with…" She reached into the back of her closet and pulled out some thigh high, black stiletto heeled boots. "These and that choker that Itachi gave me with the black onyx and ruby stones. I'm keeping Orochimaru's earrings on, so that should take care of the jewelry from the neck up."

Neko glared at the mesh shirt. "You better use something to cover up your breasts."

"Why do you think I chose to keep Orochimaru's hair? Perfect length to keep my goods covered."

"And what about when you are dancing and fighting? What happens then?"

Kurayami pouted which was a weird thing to see because she looked like Orochimaru and Neko had never seen him pout. "That could be a problem, but I'm sure that I'll be able to keep the other people from seeing too much of me."

"Whatever…" Neko muttered, looking up at the ceiling. "It's your funeral, girl."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto ran to the training ground, holding his cowboy hat in place as he did so. Halloween was so cool with the costumes and the loads of candy you could get from the neighbors. He couldn't see why anyone would hate it.

_I wonder if Sasuke finally lost his costume, _Naruto thought with a smirk. _I wonder what he looks like when he's not wearing that emo costume he always wears… He probably looks like a total dork!_

Naruto skid to a halt in front of a target and smiled at Sakura, who was dressed up like a Japanese doll in a really pretty red kimono. He couldn't believe how pretty she was and wished that she could always be like that.

Sasuke was a different story. He was dressed in his usual attire and looked like he could care less what today was as long as he got to get some training in. He wasn't even admiring Sakura which made Naruto start doubting his sexuality again.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" Naruto exclaimed, bouncing up and down. "Ami's invited us all to her party tonight! An _adult_ party! Maybe they'll let us have some sake since we're considered adults now!"

"Naruto, we're not even thirteen yet," Sakura pointed out. "They wouldn't even consider letting us attend the party if we weren't Ami's friends."

Naruto smiled. "Guess that means Sasuke can't come. He's always trying to kill Ami, so there's no way in Hell that he could be her friend." He laughed and pointed his toy gun at Sasuke. "So were you invited or not?"

"I was invited." Sasuke replied, looking slightly annoyed with Naruto's ninja cowboy costume. "No thanks to my sister…"

"Ha! Ami didn't want you there, but your sister convinced her. Maybe you should have been nicer to her Sasuke because I hear she gives out great party favors!"

"Stop being such a loser Naruto," Sasuke ordered. "And tell me what the hell you are because you look like a clown."

"Curious are you?" Naruto teased.

"Not really. I just need to know what my enemies are before I kill them and bury them in my backyard with my neighbor's cat and their two year old kid," Sasuke shot back sarcastically.

Sakura looked creeped out. "You buried your neighbor's kid? In your backyard?"

_**OH NO!!! MY SASUKE'S A MURDERER!! NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!! I WILL NOT LOSE MY SASUKE LIKE THIS!!! I'LL DIE BEFORE I LET THAT HAPPEN!!! CHA! CHA! CHA!**_

Naruto grinned from ear to ear and twirled his guns around (like Robocop and famous cowboys in western films) before sticking them in the holsters on his hips. "I'm a ninja cowboy! Believe it!"

"A ninja what?" Sakura asked, confused.

"A ninja cowboy," Naruto repeated. "And I bet Sasuke can't do what I did with my guns…He's not as cool or as skilled as me."

Sasuke's eye twitched. "Not as skilled? Don't make me laugh. I could beat you with my arms tied behind my back and my eyes closed."

"Fine. Prove that you can do the awesome gun twirling trick. But use your own guns. I don't want to get your Evil Emo Kid germs all over mine."

Sasuke ignored the last comment and made a couple of guns appear out of thin air, along with holsters on his hips. He twirled them around like Naruto had and stuck them in their respective holsters.

"Sasuke, that was so cool!!" Sakura crooned, her eyes becoming hearts as she stared at him. "I never doubted you for a moment."

Naruto's eyes narrowed and he pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke as the guns vanished. "You cheated by using your dumb Sharingan abilities to copy my moves!"

Sasuke smirked. "That's what you think."

Naruto's lips twitched as he stared at Sasuke and then he burst out laughing, collapsing to the ground. Sakura quickly put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile as she stared at him. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"What are you laughing about loser?" he demanded of Naruto.

"Nice wolf ears and tail Sasuke," Gai commented, coming over with Kakashi and Neko. "They make you look cool."

Sasuke was confused and reached up and felt something furry on the top of his head. Then he looked behind him and saw that he had sprouted a bushy brown tail out of nowhere. It moved as he stared at it and he ground his teeth together.

"Who did this to me?" he demanded of the five people there. "And why?"

"That would be me because you needed a costume and I thought you'd look great as a wolf," Neko said, holding her hand up.

That's when Sasuke noticed that she looked like him except her hair was orange and she was taller. Luckily, Gai and Kakashi weren't dressed up in any ridiculous outfits yet. But Sasuke wasn't concerned about them. He wanted his sister to remove the dumb tail and the ears now.

"Get rid of the tail and the ears or I'll get rid of your head!" Sasuke threatened, still grinding his teeth together.

"Oh no! The big bad wolf is going to have my head on a platter! I'm so scared!" Neko cried with a smile, holding a hand to her forehead in a dramatic gesture. "I shall have to flee before he can eat me!"

"NEKO! I'm warning you!" Sasuke snarled.

"Oh no's!!!" Neko screamed before running away with Sasuke in hot pursuit. "Someone save me from this horribly smelly creature with a not so nice attitude and bad hygiene issues! Save me from his bedwetting problems and give him a big bone to chew on instead of my leg!!!"

Sakura sweat dropped. Naruto adjusted the brim of his cowboy hat and got a weird gleam in his eye.

"Don't worry Neko! I shall save you!" he declared. "For when there are horribly smelly creatures with bad hygiene and mean attitudes with bedwetting problems chasing girls, there I shall be!"

He did a couple of hand signs and made a clone appear. Then he transformed the clone into a horse which he mounted and pointed in the direction of Neko.

"After them, Bullwinkle!" Naruto exclaimed and the horse reared up on its hind legs for a moment before taking off after Neko and the big bad wolf that was Sasuke.

"Bullwinkle is a moose," Kakashi commented, flipping a page of his book.

Sakura shook her head and looked at Kakashi and Gai. "So, are you guys going to Ami's party too?" she asked, curiously.

"Yes. We are." Gai declared, smiling down at her.

"So, what are you going to be or are you too old to be wearing costumes?" Sakura questioned, staring at the green jumpsuit that Gai always sported like Lee.

Gai gave her a thumb's up. "My costume is going to be the coolest one there, next to Ami's of course. And I'll be sure to make sure Ami enjoys the party to the fullest with me by her side."

"Ami picked out my costume so that it coordinates with hers," Kakashi told Sakura. "She promised to make sure I haven't got two left feet tonight on the dance floor."

Gai glared at Kakashi and his hand clenched into a fist. _I hate when he acts so cool! _

Kakashi noticed that Gai was looking at him and smiled. "Hi."

Gai's eyes burned with an inner fire as he looked away. _Why does he have to be so cool?!?_

"Why does he have to be so cool? Because he's Kakashi Hatake," Kurayami said, staring him straight in the eyes.

Gai had to force himself not to look down when he noticed that Ami was wearing a mesh shirt. His notice of her youthful womanly features would not end well for him. He knew that from experience.

"Why aren't you two in your costumes yet?" Kurayami demanded, scanning over Kakashi's and Gai's outfits quickly. "By the way, yours is nice Sakura, but I think Ino copied you again. Her kimono and sash are blue though."

_**THAT BITCH COPIED ME AGAIN!!! WHY CAN'T SHE DO THINGS HERSELF? IT WAS MY IDEA TO BE A JAPANESE DOLL, NOT HERS!! WHEN I SEE HER SHE'S TOAST!! CHA! CHA! CHA!**_

Kurayami smiled as she listened to Inner Sakura rant on about the torture she would inflict upon Ino. "I think I saw her pursuing Sasuke, Neko, and Naruto and his horse, Bullwinkle."

"Bullwinkle is a moose." Kakashi repeated his earlier statement.

Sakura's eyes narrowed and she took off like a speeding bullet in the direction the others took. There was no way in Hell that she would let Ino-pig take away her Sasuke. Especially on Halloween when she needed someone to go with to Ami's party.

Kurayami snickered and turned her attention back to the two shinobi left with her as soon as Sakura vanished. "So, why aren't you in costume yet?" she demanded.

"You haven't told me exactly what to wear," Kakashi pointed out.

"I was just about to go and put mine on," Gai lied, smiling at her. "So, if you will excuse me, I have to go get ready for your party."

Kurayami nodded and grabbed Kakashi by the front of his vest. "I'm going to have fun dressing you up," she purred, dragging him away. "But first, I've got to get you out of these clothes."

Gai's jaw dropped as Kurayami dragged a happy looking Kakashi away. His eye twitched and his fingers grasped thin air as he watched them vanish into the woods.

_Why does he always get the girl? _Gai thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ino and Sakura glared at each other over Shikamaru and Choji, who were busy carving jack o' lanterns out of pumpkins. They had run out of mean things to say to each other five minutes ago and were only giving each other death glares while they tried to find something meaner and nastier to call the other. Shikamaru shook his head and wiped some fake blood from his chin when it dripped from his fangs. Choji busied himself by eating the pumpkin seeds that had already been dried while not doing anything that would disturb his leprechaun costume.

"You really should have picked your own costume Sakura," Ino said, looking away from the pink haired kunoichi. "Copying me is growing very old."

"I didn't copy you, Ino-pig. I've had this costume idea for months," Sakura shot back. "If anyone copied anyone, it was you copying me."

"I've been planning on dressing as a Japanese doll since last Halloween."

"Liar! They haven't had the blue kimonos in stock until last Friday!"

"I had to wait until then because of that! But I had everything else ready for my costume months beforehand."

Shikamaru sighed as they started arguing about who had wanted to be a Japanese doll first. "Sometimes, I wish I could just drain them of their blood and be done with it…"

Choji nodded and continued stuffing his mouth full of pumpkin seeds.

Several pumpkin seeds shot at the two girls and made them stare down at Choji and Shikamaru.

"What was that for?" they demanded, eyes becoming white with fury.

"I didn't do anything," Choji muttered around his mouthful of pumpkin seed.

"Yeah right. The pumpkin seeds just threw themselves at us by themselves," Ino said. "Honestly Choji. How clueless do you think we are?"

While they watched, the jack o' lantern that Shikamaru was carving spat out more pumpkin seeds.

"It's alive!!!!" Sakura screeched, pointing at the jack o' lantern as Shikamaru backed away from it, leaving the kunai knife he'd been using in its eye. "How can it be alive?"

"Genjutsu," Shikamaru said, staring at the jack o' lantern as it started bouncing up and down on the newspapers he'd laid out.

"You'd like to believe that, wouldn't you?" the jack o' lantern commented, smiling evilly as the knife fell out of its eye. (Well, that's how the smile was carved.) "Ah, so boring for a Chunin."

Choji reached over and pulled the top of its head off, peering into the emptiness inside in search of more pumpkin seeds. He found none.

"Hey!! Get out of there!" the jack o' lantern commanded, ceasing its bouncing. "You don't see me pulling the top of your skull off in search of treats in it, do you?"

"Normally, pumpkins don't do anything but sit there and decay," Sakura pointed out, hiding behind Shikamaru's cloak with Ino.

"I'm not a pumpkin anymore," the jack o' lantern pointed out. "I'm a jack o' lantern, but you can call me, Master Cracker Jack."

"What do you want you weird jack o' lantern?" Ino demanded.

"The name is Master Cracker Jack to you Barbie Doll!" Master Cracker Jack snapped. "And as for what I want, let me tell you that you probably will enjoy it… somewhat."

"Go ahead and tell us," Shikamaru said, watching his other jack o' lanterns start moving. "This is just a waste of time…"

"You are all going to go where I tell you or I will be forced to eat you," Master Cracker Jack informed them. "And I'm not afraid to eat silicon, Barbie Doll."

A nerve in Ino's forehead throbbed. "I am not a Barbie Doll!!! I'm 100% real kunoichi!"

_Also 100% whiner_, Shikamaru thought, looking bored.

"Where do we have to go?" Choji asked. "And is there going to be food there?"

Master Cracker Jack and his fellow jack o' lanterns smiled. "Oh, there's going to be food there. So don't be worried about that."

Sakura and Ino looked at each other with fear in their eyes. "We're not going anywhere with you freaks!" they screamed in unison.

"Wrong choice," the other jack o' lanterns chorused before cackling.

Master Cracker Jack started expanding and so did the other jack o' lanterns. They grew to the size of medium size boulders. They started moving closer to the four ninjas-in-training.

"All right you four, time to die!" Master Cracker Jack cackled, bouncing towards them.

Ino and Sakura screamed like little girls and ran for their lives with Shikamaru and Choji in tow.

Choji stopped for a moment when he noticed a couple of kids sharing some Berries and Cream candy.

"Hey is that Berries and Cream?" he asked, gesturing at the candy.

"Uh…yeah…" the kids muttered, looking at him like he was a freak.

"Berries and Cream. Berries and Cream. I'm a –" Choji sang before getting plowed by a bunch of jack o' lanterns. " - LOVES BERRIES AND CREAM!!!! Help me Royal Rainbow!!!!!!!!"

The two kids watched the jack o' lanterns bounce off with the captured Choji. "What a freak."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tsunade glared over at the jack o' lantern that had come to life and had started bouncing around her office, liking the fact that it had been pulverized by a combination of well placed kicks and some well thrown kunai knives. The clean up could be taken care of after she took care of the real problem.

Huge jack o' lanterns were roaming the village, terrorizing the villagers with threats of eating them if they did not do what the jack o' lanterns wanted and just by being alive. Tsunade knew that only one person would love the idea of scaring the villagers as part of a prank, but she was having a hard time locating either Kurayami or her accomplice who would no doubt know exactly where the cat demon was.

"This kid just doesn't want to give me a break," Tsunade complained, pouring some sake into a glass. "Makes me wonder how the old man dealt with her."  
She pulled a face when instead of sake, she poured out spiders and green slime into the glass. With a disgusted sigh, she knocked the glass and the bottle off her desk.

"I hate Kurayami…"

"Meanie butt!!" the jack o' lantern squeaked in its high voice.

"Shut up before I turn you into a pie with the rest of your annoying friends," Tsunade threatened.

"Apple sauce!" the jack o' lantern shrieked before becoming silent.

Tsunade rested her chin on her hand and stared at the jack o' lantern. True, she knew she should make allowances for Kurayami today because it was the girl's first birthday among friends, but Kurayami was always either pulling pranks that disturbed the order of the village or hiding secrets that Tsunade knew were needed to help take down some of the major threats to the village. She just needed to find a way to get control over the girl and make her as well behaved as most of the other ninjas of the village.

"Tsunade! Get in the spirit!" the jack o' lantern squeaked. "The Halloween spirit!"

"I'll get in the spirit by turning you into a warm pumpkin pie!" Tsunade hissed, glaring at it.

The jack o' lantern blew a raspberry at her. Tsunade pulled out a kunai knife and pointed it threateningly at the jack o' lantern impaled on her wall.

"One more peep out of you and you're going to wish that you'd died on the vine!" she snarled.

"One more thing," the jack o' lantern said, not sounding fazed by her threat. "You should really take notice of the pumpkins that just rolled in. Oh, and your wrinkles are showing!!!"

Tsunade looked towards the door and saw that three pumpkins were rolling towards her desk. She stood up and watched them become still in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" she demanded.

The pumpkins quivered and then blew their tops off. Confetti, fog, and large bats burst from them and into the room, making Tsunade dive under her desk with the spiders.

"HA-HA-HA!!!!" the jack o' lantern cackled on her wall. "We got you!"

"I really hate Kurayami Houka!" Tsunade growled, flicking a spider off her arm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neko couldn't remember how long she had been running away from Sasuke, but she knew that he should be growing tired by now unless his wolf side had grown more dominant. Now that she thought about it, when she glanced over her shoulder, he did seem a lot hairier than normal. And he was drooling a bit.

"YAY!!! I've got a wolf for a brother!!" Neko exclaimed happily, leaping over a log. "It's something I've always wanted!"

"Neko! You turned me into a wolf!" Sasuke growled.

"I meant to!" Neko shouted back.

"Undo it!" Sasuke commanded. "Undo it!"

"Stop quoting Buffy and Spike's argument about turning an Indian into a bear!" Neko shouted back.

"What?"

"You're hairy!!" Neko laughed. "And you don't smell any better! Stay downwind!"

Sasuke ground his fangs together and sped up in an attempt to catch his sister. Naruto on the back of his loyal steed Bullwinkle rode past him, pulling a face at Sasuke as he passed. Sasuke dropped onto all four and ran faster, growling as he did so.

"Ha! You turned Sasuke into a wolf!" Naruto exclaimed, pulling Neko onto the back of Bullwinkle. "I hope he gets fleas!"

"Beware the rabies!" Neko called, holding onto Naruto tightly. "Thirteen shots in the belly button hurt like Hell!"

Naruto glanced over his shoulder at her. "How do you know there's thirteen shots that hurt a lot?"

"He bit me before," Neko explained. "And so did Kabuto…Nearly knocked his teeth out when he did that."

Naruto smiled and looked straight ahead again. "Whatever you say."

"I'm going to get you Naruto, Neko!" Sasuke growled, jumping at the horse.

"Oh no's!!!" Naruto and Neko exclaimed, making the horse go faster.

"Damn!" Sasuke cursed when he barely missed Bullwinkle's rear end.

"C'mon Naruto. We've got to deliver the rest of the special pumpkins to the rest of the villagers that Ami wants to invite to her party!"

"You mean _torture_, don't you?" Naruto asked with a wicked smile on his face.

"That too!" Neko agreed.

"Right. Next stop Jounin lounge!"

"NARUTO!!!! NEKO!!!!" Sasuke growled before pausing on a rock where he howled at the setting sun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Iruka dressed up as Frankenstein's monster ran towards the clearing with Asuma Sarutobi and Kurenai while the evil jack o' lanterns bounced after them. Asuma was dressed up as a homicidal doctor and Kurenai was dressed up as a naughty nurse. All three of them were terrified now that they found out that nothing they did would harm the jack o' lanterns that threatened to eat them.

Luckily when they got to a clearing the jack o' lanterns froze and made no sound. Kurenai put a hand to her heart and tried to catch her breath. Asuma and Iruka looked around the clearing and saw that there were lights in the trees and on tables.

"About time you guys got here," Kurayami said, moving out of the shadows, holding a cake. "Your presents beat you by ten minutes." She gestured at a rather large pile of presents that stood next to a bunch of bags labeled 'party favors'. "But I have to admit that you are the first ones here. Everyone else is giving Master Cracker Jack, Madame Snapper Jack, and their offspring a hard time in getting here."

Asuma took a drag on his cigarette. "What's this all about Houka?"

"How else was I supposed to get you to come to my party on such short notice?" Kurayami asked before marching over to him. "No smoking." She crushed his cigarette under her boot's heel. "There will be children here and I don't want them to die from your second hand smoke. Or the lesser known third hand smoke."

"You could have asked them if they wanted to come to your party," Kakashi pointed out, choosing to stay in the shadows. "That's what normal people do."

"You forget Kakashi," Iruka said. "You're dealing with a girl who doesn't do anything normally."

"I do so!" Kurayami said, stomping her foot. "I sleep, eat, and bathe normally! Plus, I hurt boys normally! And pull pranks like normal people."

"The hair prank was anything but normal," Kurenai pointed out, crossing her arms.

Kurayami made it look like her hand was talking in time with Kurenai and then smashed the hand. "Blah. Blah. Blah. Oh look! Some children are here! And so is Gai! Hi Gai!"

Gai got heart eyes. _She said my name! YES!!! I can still beat Kakashi now!_

Kurayami turned her attention to Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, and Sakura briefly, instructing them not to touch the party favors until the rest of the guests were there. She did give them permission to help themselves to the party food (minus the cake and ice cream), but warned Choji about eating it all.

Gai looked at Kakashi's silhouette and smirked. "So, what are you dressed as Kakashi? Something simple? Something super complex?"

"Just something that Ami convinced me to wear," Kakashi announced, stepping out of the shadows.

Gai's eyes narrowed as he took in Kakashi's mesh muscle shirt and black leather pants covered in chains. In the place of his usual mask was a half skull mask. His left eye was still covered by his forehead protector, but he had a new piece of head gear. Somehow Ami had managed to pierce his right ear and given him a small silver loop earring.

_He beat me again! NO!!! _Gai exclaimed in his head, glancing down at his black jumpsuit with its neon green leg warmers and the multiple chains he wore around his neck.

"All of your costumes are nice," Kurayami purred, hooking her arm with Kakashi's. "I especially like yours Kurenai."

"Thanks, I guess," Kurenai muttered before wandering over to check out the food Kurayami had arranged on one of the tables with Asuma.

"How long did it take you to arrange all of this?" Iruka asked.

"About an hour," Kurayami admitted. "And then I had to worry about the invitations and the food…It was utter chaos."

"Which she enjoyed." Kakashi announced.

Kurayami poked Gai in the chest. "Smile Gai. It's my birthday and Halloween. I don't want to see any frowns at my party."

"Right." Gai said, smiling at her.

"WATCH OUT!!! I CAN'T STOP THIS THING!!!" Naruto bellowed, riding Bullwinkle who was barreling towards Ami and her party.

"Don't you dare wreck my party Naruto!!!" Kurayami screamed at him. "I worked hard on getting everything perfect!! I don't need you and your confused moose to mess it up!!!"

Kakashi and Gai moved in the way of the out of control Bullwinkle and slammed their fists into its chest. Bullwinkle vanished with a panicked whinny and Neko and Naruto landed on their asses.

"Ow!!" Neko complained, jumping to her feet. "Couldn't you think of a non-harmful way to get him to stop?"

"Nope." Kakashi said with a smile.

"Guys, I don't mean to interrupt, but the wolf man is coming!" Naruto shouted, pointing in the direction that they had come from.

On cue, Sasuke jumped on top one of the jack o' lanterns (probably Master Cracker Jack) and howled at the moon. Ino and Sakura noticed the outfit the wolf man wore and instantly recognized that it was Sasuke.

"OH NO!!! SASUKE'S TURNED INTO A FURBALL!!!!" they screamed in unison before passing out side by side.

Sasuke shook his head and jumped from the head of Master Cracker Jack when the jack o' lantern threatened to roll on him. Kurayami reached over and scratched him behind the ears. For a moment, Sasuke looked confused and then his anger melted from his eyes as he wagged his tail in happiness. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth and he moved his head closer to Ami's hand.

Shikamaru, Neko, Naruto, and Choji fell to the ground, laughing hysterically. Kurenai tried very hard to conceal her smile behind her hand, but ended up laughing too. Asuma looked at Sasuke as if he was a freak of nature. (Well he is.) Gai wandered why Kurayami didn't scratch him behind the ears like that. Kakashi sighed and turned a page in his book.

"And that's one of my students," he muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When everyone got to the party thanks to the jack o' lantern family, the clearing was packed. There were mummies, vampires, witches, and goblins galore. Ibiki seemed to have gotten inspiration from Ami's hair prank and bore a fro while looking like a disco man. Tsunade had dressed like a hooker-ish looking witch and was constantly glaring at Ami, cursing her to all the levels of Hell for the trouble she was causing this week. Ami simply enjoyed herself by dancing on the dance floor with Kakashi to Thriller, the Monster Mash, and other fun loving songs.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the party favors and the food that promised to be tastier than they looked. The jack o' lanterns constantly reached out with vines and pulled some of the eyeball candy balls out of the bowl and other treats out of their respective bowls when someone went to get some. So the party was both entertaining and scary at the same time.

Sasuke prowled around the edge of the dance floor, looking for an opening to Ami so he could destroy her for making his sister turn him into a wolf. His hands hurt and his feet were no better. Plus, he was starting to crave raw meat and leprechauns.

"Sasuke, be nice and enjoy yourself," Neko commanded, putting her hands on her hips. "This is a party!"

Sasuke glared at her and snapped his jaws before turning his gaze back to Ami and Kakashi, growling softly.

"Are you still peeved about me turning you into a wolf?" Neko asked, crouching down next to him.

Sasuke gave her a look that was answer enough.

Neko sighed. "You needed a costume and I gave you one. You'll probably win the most believable costume here when they start passing out the ballots for the categories." She smiled. "Plus, this is only temporary. You'll be your normal grumpy boy self after the party is over. I think."

Sasuke got wide eyed and whined.

"Don't worry. If I can't change you back into yourself and Ami can't either, I can always make the house wolf safe."

Sasuke growled and trotted off to find somewhere else to wait for a chance to get at Kurayami.

"CAKE TIME!!!" Naruto shouted over the music. "Y'ALL GATHER AROUND NOW!!"

Everyone ceased dancing and gathered around the table that bore the extremely large cake that had seventeen bleeding candles on it. Kurayami smiled at them.

"Thank you all for coming to my party," she said. "Now, I know you all are hungry and ready for a sugar high, so I'll do this fast."

She blew out the candles and pulled out a kunai knife. Rather than take it to the cake, she threw it aside and everyone heard the _twang _of a wire being cut. Kurayami pulled out an umbrella and hid behind it.

Thick red liquid spilled from the trees above and soaked everyone. Kurayami lifted the umbrella once the trees had run out of red liquid and smiled.

"Gotcha!" she exclaimed.

"IT'S BLOOD!!" Neko shouted with a smile, not having a drop of the liquid on her.

Sasuke shook the excess liquid off himself and proceeded to lick himself dry. Kakashi reached over and stuck his finger in a small puddle of the red liquid on the table. He reached under his mask and stuck the finger in his mouth.

"Cherry flavor," he commented.

Kurayami giggled into his shoulder. "Of course. I couldn't use real blood because that'd be too icky and Sasuke would have had a cow. And I couldn't use the fake blood because that costs too much and stains worse than real blood."

"AMI!!!!" the rest of the partiers shouted.

"CAKE TIME!!!" Kurayami exclaimed. "Then presents." She smirked at Choji. "Berries and Cream."

Choji clapped his hands and did a little jig. "Berries and Cream. Berries and Cream. I'm a -."

Madame Snapper Jack reached over and stuck him in her mouth. "I love Berries and Cream," she told Master Cracker Jack.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Ok, I didn't know all of the words to the Berries and Cream thing, so sue me! This was fun and if you don't see that, well you're no fun at all! To everyone else, please review me!!_


	7. Saturday

_A/N: You people make me sad and trust me, I don't need to be any sadder at the moment. So just read this final chapter and then review me, okay? A couple of words would be nice._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Saturday: Mission Attack the Village!**

Four figures perched themselves on the roof of the Hokage's building just as the sun was beginning to rise. They smirked at the objects they had in pouches or slung on their backs. Today was the perfect day to use them and that's exactly what they intended to do.

"Remember what you've got to do if you get caught," the tallest one said. "Fight like hell and make a really big mess."

"Right," the other three agreed.

"Number Two, you'll be attacking the training grounds," the tallest one instructed. "Number Three and Four, you'll be defacing those monument heads that annoy me so much. But leave the Fourth Hokage's face alone or I'll have to hurt you."

"Got it," Number Three and Number Four said, giving the tall one a thumbs up.

"I'll be attacking the village," Number One stated, pointing at themself.

Number Two stomped a foot. "Why do you get to have all the fun?"

"Relax Number Two," Number One instructed. "I've heard that a lot of people that we both dislike are going to be at the training grounds …I have to attack the weak villagers which will be no fun at all…"

"I AM NOT WEAK!!!!" Asuma screamed from somewhere below.

"SHUT UP ASUMA!!!" all four of the people shouted back. "YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!"

"Wow…it felt great to say that," Number Three commented with a broad smile.

"Shut it Number Three," Number One commanded, crossing their arms. "We've got a job to do. So, let's get to it."

The four people jumped from the roof in different directions just as Tsunade poked her head out the window with Shizune.

"Did you hear something?" Tsunade asked, looking at Shizune.

"No, no…It must have been our imagination," Shizune said, drawing her head back into the building. "Go back to bed Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade sighed and drew her head back in, closing the window behind her. She had a really bad feeling about today…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Number Two darted around trees, scanning the different training areas for their first victims. They knew exactly where their original squad was going to be training in, but was looking around to see if there was anyone else training that they hated so much. They hadn't found anyone yet and knew that they should have expected that since it was still early in the morning.

_I guess I should get to the training ground where they're at, _Number Two thought, running a finger over the dark mark under their eye. _I can have some fun torturing Sasuke, but getting past the Jounin, that'll be hard…NOT!!!_

They put on an extra burst of speed before skidding quietly to a halt behind a bunch of bushes. They peeked out behind the bushes, reaching for several of the objects that they had on their person. Sasuke and Sakura looked pissed about Naruto being late instead of Kakashi Hatake, for once. Kakashi was too busy reading his dirty book and Number Two was being especially quiet.

_Now!!! _

Ten round objects flew at the three ninjas from different directions, smashing hard into them and exploding in a burst of bright colors. Sakura and Sasuke looked stunned while Kakashi wheeled around, looking for anyone who could have thrown the paintballs at him without detection.

"AMI!!!" he called, sounding slightly irritated.

_Wrong number, _Number Two thought, moving around them again via tree branches. _But right idea… I'll attack again…This time with a bigger spread because I can see Sasuke analyzing the area…Smart boy, but he is too slow…Damn! I'm talking like Lee again!!_

Number Two ground their teeth together and threw the paintballs rapidly at the ninjas in a wide spread again. Several hit the ninjas when they tried to avoid the incoming attack.

"It's Neko!" Sasuke hissed, using Sharingan to track her every move. "She's thirty yards to your right, Sakura…"

Sakura wheeled around and stared into the bushes where Neko stood panting quietly. Neko knew that the girl couldn't see her, but was positive that now both Kakashi and Sasuke could.

_I have no choice, but to use one of the super weapons, _Neko thought, pulling out a small black box. _And I was hoping to have more fun with these guys…I suppose there's always Lee's team…Coloring Neji will be a lot more fun than coloring Sasuke anytime._

She tossed the black box out of the bushes and it landed between Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura who eyed it suspiciously. The box whistled and folded open with some smoke pouring out of the top. Then hundreds of paintballs came flying out and hit the three ninjas, completely coating them in different colors of paint.

"Ahhh!!! It burns!!!" Sasuke exclaimed, putting his hands to his eyes which had been attacked by pink paint while he got pummeled by dozens of bright green and yellow paint. (By the way, he's still kind of wolfish.) He whined and collapsed on the ground, shielding his head with an arm.

"Sasuke!!!" Sakura cried, trying to cut through the assaulting balls with a kunai so she could get closer to her poor Sasuke. "Sasuke, hold on! OW!!!"

Kakashi was dodging and weaving through the paint ball barrage in an attempt to get closer to the box. He thought he knew how to turn this trap off, if only he could get close enough to touch it. He failed and was forced to retreat.

"Sasuke!" he called. "Fireball it!"

Sasuke looked up with wolfish eyes and growled the jutsu under his breath. Fire erupted from his mouth and surrounded the trap. When the fire died out, the trap lay closed on the ground, remarkably untouched by the fire.

"Dammit!!" Sasuke snarled, punching the ground. "Ow…"

"Idiot!" Neko called from atop a tree. "Now the thing is going to explode into a really big wave of paint!" She smiled. "But don't worry, if you close your eyes, you won't have to collapse on the ground again and hug yourself as you cry Sasuke!"

"We can leave," Sakura said. "We don't have to be here when it detonates."

Neko pulled out an umbrella. "Actually you do because the thing is going to explode…NOW!"

Only she moved fast enough to put her umbrella up when the box exploded. Not even Kakashi and Sasuke had the chance to get to a safe distance before they were caught in the huge wave of multicolor paint. Sakura shrieked and was swamped in the stuff and sent flying backwards into Kakashi. Both of them were sent careening into a tree.

Neko laughed when the final drops of paint fell to the ground and lifted her umbrella. "You guys are so _pretty_!"

Sakura and Kakashi muttered things under their breath that Neko couldn't understand as Kakashi helped Sakura up. Sasuke shook himself off and glared up at his sister.

"Neko!!!"

"Toodles!" Neko said, throwing the umbrella up in the air and vanishing. "Off to torture Gai and Neji!!"

"Well, they deserve it," Kakashi said with a thoughtful look.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Number Three and Number Four snickered as they drew different designs on the faces of the Monument Heads. Of course they left the Fourth Hokage's head alone because they knew how much Number One liked and respected that guy. They weren't about to make her mad especially after Number Three had nearly crashed her party and ruined the food.

"No, no! Use more blue!" Number Three ordered Number Four. "We've already used enough yellow!"

"Right boss!" Number Four said, tossing the yellow brush aside and grabbing a blue one.

"I'm not your boss right now kid," Number Three pointed out, making it look like the Second Hokage had purple snot coming out of his nose. "Number One is."

"Oh, right."

They returned to painting in silence for a moment. Then Number Three smiled widely and looked at Number Four.

"Isn't it awesome?" he asked. "I mean, she totally let us have the coolest part of the prank! We must be something to her!"

"Like what?"

"Like best friends or something. Yeah, best friends! We're best friends with the coolest girl in Konoha! Believe it!"

"Hello Naruto," Jiraiya said, standing behind Number Three and Number Four. "Konohamaru."

Naruto turned around with wide eyes. "Ero-Sannin!!! What – what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was just passing here on my way to – never mind where I was going. I see you're defacing the Monument Heads again. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"One thing," Konohamaru said, handing Naruto a bucket of paint.

"And what is that?" Jiraiya asked, hands going on his hips.

"THIS!!" Konohamaru and Naruto exclaimed, both lifting a bucket of paint and either throwing it at Jiraiya or bringing it down on his head. (Psst. Naruto put it on Jiraiya's head.) "And goodbye!"

Jiraiya stumbled backwards and clawed at the bucket attached to his head. "Hey! Who turned out the lights! HEY!!!!" He fell backwards and screamed like a little girl on his way down.

Tsunade was walking towards the Monument Heads when Jiraiya landed on her. The bucket bounced off his head which was now covered in paint and his face landed right on her chest.

"Ah! I must be dreaming!" Jiraiya commented, nuzzling his face on those certain prominent parts of anatomy on Tsunade's chest. "Naruto and Konohamaru were just the nightmare part. This is the good part."

A nerve throbbed in Tsunade's forehead. "You know what…My nightmare is having ninjas who are troublemakers or are very stupid walking around my village, bumping into me, and making constant remarks about my breasts. And you know what the sad thing is?"

"That they're fake?" Jiraiya asked.

"No. The sad thing is that when I wake up, the nightmare doesn't go away. It's real and there's only one thing I can do about it," Tsunade said, punching him down onto the ground. "THAT!!!"

"Ow!" Jiraiya groaned beneath her fist.

"Don't put your face anywhere near my chest again Jiraiya!" Tsunade commanded before her gaze turned up towards Naruto and Konohamaru. "And you two are going to clean up that mess right now!"

"Sorry. We can't do that!" Naruto called, holding another bucket of paint. "We have our orders!"

"The Hokage's orders overrule every other order made by anyone else!" Tsunade snapped, walking up the rock wall. "So, whoever you got your orders from is no longer in charge of your actions. I am. I say you have to clean up this mess!"

"No!" Konohamaru and Naruto shouted back, dumping the rest of the paint on her before leaping off the heads in the direction of the village. "Bye Granny Tsunade!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade bellowed, wiping paint out of her eyes. "You're toast!!"

"Only if you can catch me!!" Naruto called back, laughing as he and Konohamaru threw paintballs back at her and other people who stuck their heads out of windows.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Number One hummed to themself as they placed black pyramids on the sides of buildings and on stands of merchandise outside of the buildings. They counted down silently as they moved quickly onto the roof and watched people point at the pyramids with curious expressions.

_Three, two, one…_they counted off. _Boom._

One by one the pyramids exploded in showers of brightly colored paint. The villagers screamed in surprise, fear, and anger as they were covered in paint.

_Maybe I should tell them that the paint doesn't come out of their clothing in the first wash, _Number One mused with a small smile. _That would save them a lot of panic and money...There must be someone smart in that bunch that'll realize that and tell the others so that no one wastes money…Well, if they don't, at least that'll stimulate the Leaf Village's economy…_

"Ami!" Neko exclaimed, appearing beside Number One. "I did it! I totally turned Sasuke into a rainbow wolf and made Lee's hair orange and Gai's hair purple!" She laughed. "I even found time to make Tenten look like some creature from a horror film and Neji…he's so pretty!!!"

"You went easy on him, didn't you?" Kurayami demanded, staring her teammate in the eye.

"No."

"You did. I can see it. You only pelted him with twenty paintballs."

"But they were the biggest of the paintballs I had on me."

"You lie."

"No I don't."

"Oh what a lie."

"Stop quoting Labyrinth Ami," Neko said, running a finger over the dark marks under her eyes. "We've got bigger things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that Tsunade is chasing Number Three and Number Four around the village. Kakashi's squad is searching for us and they're armed with more paintballs. Ibiki is looking for you because you're making a mess and he wants you to suffer under his punishment. And the villagers are starting to demand that you get banished from the village because of your naughty ways. That sort of the thing," Neko said, crossing her arms. "You're a very popular person, in a very bad way Ami."

Kurayami shrugged and reapplied the dark paint under her eyes. "That just means we have to be good little ninjas tonight and clean up all the messes we make so no one evicts me from the wonderful Hidden Leaf Village. But first…We have to neutralize the threat. Kakashi's squad must be incapacitated and their weapons turned over to us. Tsunade must find something better to do than chase Naruto and Konohamaru. It will be done!"

Neko pointed at something on Kurayami's head. "Why are you wearing a tiara?"

Kurayami glanced up at the sparkling silver and ruby tiara that was on her head. "I have no idea…"

The tiara vanished in a small cloud of smoke. Kurayami and Neko stared at the cloud of smoke until it vanished completely.

"That was weird…" Neko commented.

"Yeah…" Kurayami shook her head. "We have to move now. Kakashi and Sasuke are about to attack from fifty yards behind me."

Kurayami and Neko dove over the edge of the roof and vanished before hitting the ground just as a barrage of paintballs hit where they had been.

"Damn!" Sasuke hissed, landing on the roof on all four.

"My sentiments exactly," Kakashi muttered, thinking about Ami in her white shirt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto and Konohamaru were starting to panic now. They'd run out of paintballs and all other super paintball weapons. Tsunade was getting closer and they knew better than to split up and let her pick them off one by one. They needed a miracle.

"Damn! Why isn't Ami here yet?" Naruto demanded as he ran ahead of Konohamaru. "She'd know what to do to get this crazy old lady off our backs!"

"I AM NOT CRAZY NARUTO!!!!" Tsunade bellowed from behind them.

Naruto bit his tongue and ran faster, reaching back and grabbing Konohamaru by the arm to help the littler boy run faster too. He noticed something out of the corner of his eye and thought for a moment that Tsunade had finally caught up to him. It was actually someone dressed in black and white, running in the shadows. They looked at him and pointed ahead before vanishing.

"Konohamaru hold on," Naruto ordered, slinging the boy onto his back. "I've just thought of something."

"About time boss!" Konohamaru exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Naruto's neck.

Naruto put on a burst of speed and headed for the alley that was dead ahead of him. The person in the shadows pointed at a box and then smoke poured out from somewhere. Naruto quickly stowed himself and Konohamaru in the box and waited as the smoke swirled around the two of them.

"Nice try Naruto," Tsunade said, walking into the alley. "If you think hiding behind a smoke screen will stop me from finding you, you're dead wrong."

Something hit the ground and Naruto flinched at the sound.

"What the-?" Tsunade asked.

"Shield your face Naruto, Konohamaru!" Kurayami's voice ordered from somewhere above them.

Naruto quickly put his arms up in front of his face after making sure that Konohamaru was doing the same thing. He heard something explode and wet paint splash against walls and something else that was very solid. He heard Tsunade groan and hit the ground.

"Come on Naruto," Neko whispered, suddenly standing in front of him, offering a hand out. "We've got to move now. Kurayami's only bought us a minute to get away from Tsunade and get lost. We've got to move now."

Naruto nodded and dragged Konohamaru out of the box with him. "This is getting really dangerous, huh Neko?"

Neko nodded and jumped onto the roof with them. "We also got competition. Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura all have paintballs too and are ready to make war."

"We'll kick their asses, no sweat," Naruto assured her. "Just as soon as we get a refill of paintballs."

"Here." Kurayami said, holding out two boxes of paintballs. "Refill your pouches quickly and let's move. I don't need Kakashi and Sasuke planning another ambush and Tsunade coming after us at the same time. I refuse to become a sitting target! I refuse!"

"Chill Ami, chill," Neko ordered, patting the kunoichi's arm. "We'll be victorious through this whole ordeal and then we'll make sure that you get to stay in the village."

"She's getting kicked out of the village?" Konohamaru asked, stuffing his pouches full of paintballs.

"People keep muttering about getting her banished, but I'm sure they are just kidding," Neko informed him. "She's going to clean up the village after this is over with, just in case they really do want her gone."

Kurayami bit the top off a grenade shaped paintball and threw it away from them. She put a hand on Naruto's and Konohamaru's heads and forced them to the ground, using her body as a shield.

"When I tell you to run, I want you to run to the training grounds," Kurayami hissed in their ears as paintballs were thrown at them. "Don't turn back to help or see what's happening. Don't question my authority and don't let anyone capture you. That is all."

"Ami, this is suicide!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kurayami smiled. "But it's the fun kind of suicide. Now, don't argue Naruto. Be a good boy and run now!"

She released them and jumped to her feet just as the barrage grew worse. Naruto and Konohamaru darted off and vanished, ready to do what Kurayami ordered. Neko blocked and dodged as many of the paintballs that were thrown at her as she could and laughed at Kurayami's clothes that were now splattered in paint.

"How're we going to get out of this one Ami?" Neko asked, throwing a handful of paintballs with deadly accuracy at her brother's face.

"I'm working on it," Kurayami said, biting the top off another grenade and throwing it at the enemy. "Of course, I'd thought you'd run off with the other two before things got too hairy around here."

"Too late for that," Neko commented, shielding her face as the grenade exploded in a shower of red. "Besides, I'd never leave you. We're in this together Ami."

"I knew I could count on you Neko," Kurayami said with a smile. "Even if you're an Uchiha."

Neko smirked. "Was that a jab at my brother?"

"Depends on which one you're talking about."

"Both."

"Yes and…yes."

"I thought so."

"Give up Ami," Kakashi ordered as Sakura got behind them. "We have you surrounded. You have no where to go, but through us and you know you won't make it. Why don't you just spare us the trouble and surrender?"

"Aw Kakashi-sensei…" Kurayami purred, smiling prettily at him. "That would make it far too easy for you and would be boring to me…No. I think you guys should give up and go home because you are almost out of paintballs and I bought the last of them five minutes ago."

"She's right sensei," Sakura said. "I only have five left."

"I've got six," Sasuke hissed, rolling them around in his hands. One slipped and almost dropped on the ground, but he caught it. "And I'm sure I can get some decent shots in."

"I've got…one, two…four," Kakashi said, counting the orange balls in his hand. "Damn."

"Better make your shots count Kakashi," Kurayami crooned, holding her arms open. "I'll even stand still for this if you want me to."

Sasuke smirked. "That's all right with me."

He threw a ball as hard as he could at Kurayami's face and she didn't even flinch as it exploded on her cheek. Bright yellow paint sprayed over her eye and dripped down her cheek, making it look like she was crying yellow tears. Sasuke laughed a small satisfied laugh and got ready to throw another ball at her.

"Ami…" Kakashi whispered in a concerned voice as she just stood there with her eye starting to turn an irritated red.

"Ami, are you all right over there?" Neko asked, keeping an eye on Sakura.

Kurayami didn't reply.

"Sasuke, if you've hurt her, I'm going to kick your ass to the moon and back again!" Neko snapped, turning on her brother.

"Neko…" Kurayami whispered.

"Huh?"

"Now would be a good time…to run," Kurayami said quietly, staring at something at the feet of her enemies.

Neko's eyes grew wide and she took off like a bat out of Hell. Kurayami reached behind her and slowly pulled out an ornate silk umbrella.

"That hurt Sasuke, but don't worry, I'm not mad," Kurayami told him, holding the umbrella over her head. "I might forgive you in time, but right now, this will do."

A large rectangular prism beeped on the ground and then exploded, sending paint flying in all directions, blasting the people that were not protected by the umbrella. Kurayami lowered her umbrella when the last of the paint fell to the ground and surveyed the damage.

Sasuke lay on the ground twitching as did Sakura. Kakashi was pressed against the roof, staring at her in surprise. Kurayami stepped over Sasuke and walked over to him, taking the paintballs from his hand.

"You won't need these Kakashi," Kurayami said with a small smile. "And don't worry. The last part of my prank won't be so bad and then I'll be a good little girl for awhile." She giggled. "You might even _like _the last part of the prank because it's so helpful to everyone else, but no…I can't tell you what it is. That'd ruin the surprise."

Kakashi continued to stare at her. Kurayami sighed and pulled down his paint soaked mask to reveal his face. She used her thumb to rub away the paint that was on his lips and then brushed her lips lightly over his.

"I promise you'll be proud of me," she swore. "If not today…someday…"

She returned his mask to its proper position and backed away from him before he could fully revive himself.

"I will see you when it's over," Kurayami whispered, spinning around with the umbrella and vanishing with it. "I promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto and Konohamaru were laughing as the continued to pepper Lee and Gai with different paintballs. They'd given up on trying to get Neji, who moved too quick for them to catch because he could see their every move even when they hid and had given up on Tenten because she got mad too quickly and went home to wash up. Lee and Gai were convinced that this was a test set up by Kurayami and Neko and would not let themselves fail it this time.

"What are you guys doing?" Neko asked, appearing next to Naruto and Konohamaru. "Didn't Ami tell you to go to the training ground?"

"This is a training ground," Naruto pointed out with a wide smile. "And she didn't say that we couldn't mess with these guys. C'mon Neko, they think that this is part of some kind of test to earn your hearts. Have at them!"

Neko shuddered and looked at Gai and Lee, who continued training even though they were getting hit repeatedly by paintballs. She felt sorry for them, but not sorry enough to stop herself from joining Konohamaru and Naruto.

A few minutes later, their balls dropped uselessly to the ground and they looked around for the cause. Kurayami was perched on the post that Lee had been kicking and smiled at them in a very catlike fashion.

"Hello Gai, Lee," she greeted.

_She said my name! _Gai exclaimed in his head, beaming outwardly. _I am in Heaven!!!_

"Hello Kurayami," Lee greeted before looking around. "Where is Neko?"

Kurayami pointed in the direction of the trees that the three troublemakers were in. "She's over there with Naruto and Konohamaru, but that's not important right now. I need your help."

"Help?" Gai and Lee repeated. "What kind of help?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. I just need someone to help me organize the finale of my last prank," Kurayami said with a shrug as she switched her umbrella to the other hand. "A little help putting the last objects in place and then preventing people from attacking me in a murderous rage when they think they know what's going to happen and really don't. That sort of thing."

"We would be honored to help!" Gai and Lee declared.

"'We would be honored to help!'" Naruto mocked in a poor imitation of Lee's voice. "Of course they'd be honored to help. They think that this'll help them get closer to her and you, Neko. As if…"

Neko nodded and looked at Kurayami, waiting for her to continue on with the plan.

"Neko is going to toss out a bag full of the remaining instruments of this prank. I need you to place them on the northwestern border of the village and then meet me at the Hokage Monument Heads. Understand?"

"Yes!!" Lee and Gai said.

"Good." She smiled sweetly. "Thank you so much for helping Gai-san and Lee-san. I will remember this later on."

Gai smiled and turned to face the direction of the others. "Toss out the bags, children of youth! We must get this mission done quickly if we are to succeed!"

"Yes, yes!" Lee agreed, nodding his head.

Neko sighed and tossed the bag out. "I hope she knows what she's doing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurayami sighed as she stood there on top of the Fourth Hokage's monument head. She could hardly see Gai and Lee darting around the northwestern border, placing the last of the black boxes on the ground and she blamed it totally on Sasuke for getting paint in her eye. She groaned as the mere thought of it sent pain radiating from that spot and rubbed at it, irritating it further.

"You know, you shouldn't do that," Neko pointed out, grabbing Kurayami's arm to stop her from rubbing her eyeball completely out of its socket. "We could get some cold water and run it over your eye if you want…"

"No." Kurayami said, blinking her eyes once before attempting to track Gai's and Lee's movements again. "I'll be fine until we get this over with. Hopefully, I'll be able to relax after we get everything cleaned up; otherwise, I'll go mad."

"Aren't you already a bit mad?" Neko asked with a small smile.

"Just a tad."

"And that's why we all love you."

"Sasuke doesn't."

"He does. It's just not as much as everyone else does. He's too much like my father and big brother to really express emotions other than rage."

Kurayami smirked. "Your big brother had no problem showing me a wide range of emotions when we were part of the Akatsuki for that one year that I stayed with him…It must be just your younger brother and father that have the issues with showing love."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, Lee and Gai were standing in front of them and bowed their heads.

"We have completed the task you have laid before us, Kurayami," Gai announced. "Where else will we be of some assistance to you?"

"Just keep the people gathering down there from attacking me while I gather my chakra for this," Kurayami commanded, making a hand sign and closing her eyes. "I need to be able to focus or this could result in the complete destruction of the village."

"You're making that up!" Naruto declared, pointing at her.

"Would you like to find out?" Kurayami asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Naruto quickly shook his head and Konohamaru copied the motion. No one wanted to see the village destroyed especially after they had rebuilt it after the Third Hokage was killed.

"Then shut up and do what I told you to do!"

Kurayami retreated into her mind and let her chakra run freely through her body. She could hear people outside of her, but did not sense their location.

"Make her stop whatever she's doing!" Sakura commanded from somewhere.

"We can't do that," Neko said. "We saw every other prank through and we're not about to change that."

"This isn't funny anymore Neko," Sasuke growled. "You are destroying the village."

"You wouldn't know what funny was even if it danced in front of you butt naked, holding a sign that said it was funny," Naruto pointed out. "This is funny and it's going to get better if you leave Ami be. Believe it!"

"I don't believe it, nor will I ever!"

"Sasuke, shut up," Lee ordered. "Ami knows what she is doing and we will not allow you to get in her way. She has already started and stopping her could result in the complete destruction of our village."

"Gai, you can't have agreed to this," Kakashi said, sounding shocked.

"I have Kakashi because I have complete faith in Ami's capabilities," Gai announced, sounding sincere. "She will be able to pull this off and we will all be able to walk away with our lives and village intact." Ami could hear the confident smile on his face. "I am sure that we will be seeing a lot more of Ami's pranks in the future Kakashi and they will be far greater than these last few."

Kurayami smiled on the inside. _Thanks for having faith in me Gai, _she thought. _But I probably won't have another week like this because I want to stay in the village. Just a few pranks here and there…that's all…_

Kurayami pushed those thoughts aside as she heard kunai meet kunai and yells from below. She ignored these as her chakra swelled around her and streaked out in all directions to meet up with the black boxes. Those boxes glowed with the same scarlet and black light and everyone quieted down at the sight of the glow.

"Finite," Kurayami whispered, opening her eyes as she pushed her hands away from her body.

The boxes exploded in geysers of water. People shrieked from below, but the fighting stopped where Kurayami was. Everyone was watching the water fall to the ground and on the roofs of every building, so they didn't notice that Kurayami had suddenly become aware. (More water was popping up at the training grounds where Kurayami had left boxes earlier.) A small jellyfish landed on Sasuke's head and gave him a jolt that made him jump ten feet into the air.

_So that's where that went…_Kurayami thought with a small smile. _Leave it to Sasuke to find the painful things I have lost…_

The geysers stopped coming from the boxes and everyone waited in knee high water for something else to happen. Kurayami heard the angry buzz as people started muttering amongst themselves.

"What the heck was that?" Naruto demanded, pointing at all the water. "Nothing happened!"

"What do you mean nothing happened?" Sakura demanded. "There's tons of water out there! She's practically drowning the village!"

"I don't think that's what she's intending to do Sakura," Kakashi commented, glancing at Kurayami.

Kurayami smirked. "I see you've finally gotten the idea…"

Kakashi nodded and looked back out at the water covered village. Gai glanced between them looking confused for a moment, nodded and looked out like he knew exactly what was going to happen next. Sasuke couldn't stop the jellyfish from zapping him and fell over and started jerking around on the ground.

"Sheesh Sasuke, dramatic much?" Neko asked, crossing her arms at the sight of him. "It's just a baby jellyfish."

Sasuke ground his teeth together and continued twitching on the ground.

Kurayami giggled as the water started moving around the villagers. She could pick out Tsunade standing among them, looking calm and slightly _relieved_ about what was happening around her.

_So she knows too, _Kurayami thought with a frown. _Damn…there goes my surprise!_

The water started forming hundreds of water clones which scared the hell out of many of the villagers. The clones moved towards the paint stained walls and clothes and attacked the stains. People shrieked in fear and Asuma fainted on the spot when a couple of water clones came at him. Jiraiya tried to hug some of the water clones, but they kept falling apart and reforming away from him, yet he didn't give up. Iruka let a clone pass over him, removing the paint from him and waved up at the people standing on the monument heads with a wide smile on his face.

"Hey! This isn't a prank at all!" Naruto complained, watching the clones undo his handiwork. "This is…Kami dammit!! You're doing what they want you to do!!"

Kurayami nodded. "It's time I stopped doing pranks for now Naruto…which reminds me." She turned to face Sasuke who was now whining on the ground. "I need to de-wolf-ify you before you start giving everyone your fleas."

She made a hand sign and every wolf-like aspect of Sasuke vanished. He still ground his teeth together and twitched as the jellyfish evaded his grasp and zapped him, but he was once again 100% Evil Emo Kid ninja again.

Kurayami felt a sudden wave of dizziness and fell back against Kakashi. "I'm dizzy…I must be a blonde…" Some of her hair fell in her face and Kurayami pointed at the strands. "See? Blonde…"

"Very funny Ami," Kakashi said, brushing the hair out of her face. "Stop wasting your chakra and let's go home before Ibiki and Tsunade come and start berating you on your bad behavior and the good behavior of today."

Kurayami made a face as he put her on his back. "Ew! We can never let them talk to me about _good _behavior! I'll take talks about bad behavior any day!"

Kakashi chuckled and kicked the jellyfish off of Sasuke's head. "You big wimp," he said to Sasuke before vanishing like Gai, Lee, and Neko did.

The jellyfish screamed as it flew up into the air and screamed louder as it fell towards the world again. Naruto rushed under it to catch it and was rewarded by getting it attached to his face and several major zaps.

"OWW!!!!" he screamed before throwing it over the side of the monument heads.

The jellyfish landed on Tsunade, who screamed as she was zapped. "KURAYAMI HOUKA YOU'RE IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Saturday…

Kurayami spent much of the next two days asleep and regaining her strength after using so much of her chakra during the week. On Tuesday she was forced to do dozens of mind numbingly boring missions and had to run around Konoha hundreds of times as was ordered by Ibiki and Tsunade.

The hairballs left over from the hair prank and the boxes containing the paintballs vanished from Konoha and haven't been seen since. At least by the _Leaf _villagers…

Asuma never fully recovered from the constant pranks and developed a nervous twitch and every time he heard the word 'prank' he was known to scream and pass out. This lasted until the day he died.

The villagers learned to forgive Kurayami for her actions and actually admitted to have enjoyed a few of the pranks. They were more proud of her for cleaning up after the pranks on the village than they were of her attacks on the Akatsuki and Sound Village. That is…until she decided to do bigger, messier pranks on the village that drove many of them insane…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: And so this story ends with very little reviews and few caring people who like my stories. Those who do not review are rude and I do not like you because if I were in your place, reading your story, I would review you even if I didn't like it. I would tell you that I didn't like it and I would tell you where you could improve. None of you have been that considerate of me, so I will repeat that I do not like you. If you read and don't review, you can go to Hell for all I care._

_To those who chose to review because they care, thank you. Your actions are most kind and appreciated. ~ Scarlet_


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